Page 23 of A Fire in Their Hearts
T HE FIVE OF US HAVE discussed Calum’s idea that Covenanters could escape by pretending to be dead, but none of us will leave without the others.
However, Samuel has suggested it to a couple of men he believes will be keen and can be trusted, so this morning a man called Walter is going to attempt it.
‘This waiting is awful,’ I say to the Reverend Colvil, who stands with me and Calum, trying to appear as if nothing unusual is expected.
‘Patience, daughter,’ he says. ‘We’re in God’s hands and there can be no safer ones to hold us.’
One person has died during the night and Walter lies on the ground next to him. Hamish walks over from where he’s been keeping watch by the gates.
‘The gravediggers are coming,’ he says.
Hamish, Samuel, Calum and the Reverend Colvil walk slowly towards the bodies.
I move a little nearer, but don’t want to appear as if I’m part of anything.
My heart is pounding. How can Walter pretend he’s dead realistically enough?
Surely something will give him away? My fear is not for him.
If he’s discovered, then the four men I love will be in great danger.
As usual, soldiers position themselves beyond the gates and when the handcart stops, they raise their muskets. The gates are unlocked. I can barely draw breath and when some men move to lift Walter, I think my heart stops.
‘We’ll lift him,’ says Reverend Colvil authoritatively. ‘He was a friend.’
With a shrug, the men take the other body and we all watch as it’s carried out.
When the body is laid down it makes a loud moaning noise.
I’ve heard of this happening from Father, how air escaping from a body can make a sound that terrifies even the toughest. A couple of the Covenanters step back quickly while one of the soldiers moves forward. He pulls out a dirk.
‘Shut up, you filthy traitor!’ Without any hesitation he stabs the body hard in the side, but there is no reaction or further sound. ‘You moan in life and don’t even shut up when you’re dead!’ Several soldiers laugh. ‘Get that other scum out and be bloody quick about it!’
Samuel glances at me and his expression makes me wonder if he thinks they may all be killed in the next few minutes.
They have to wait until the first Covenanters are back within the enclosure before they lift Walter and slowly carry him towards the cart.
I’m sure I can see his chest moving, a finger twitching, his eyelids flutter; I cannot breathe, terrified the soldier will stab him just like the other body.
The four men turn around and head inside.
Samuel comes to me, but the others walk away as if they intend to go around the enclosure.
‘This is terrible,’ I whisper.
‘Shh. We’ll know soon enough if Walter’s discovered.’
We move to a place where we can watch without it being obvious. The gates are locked. Soldiers begin to disperse. The gravediggers move to the cart. An arm hangs over the edge. One of the gravediggers takes hold of it and tucks it back. Some comments are made but I can’t make out the words.
Then the cart is pushed away, the uneven ground making the figures on board jostle and move around.
The arm hangs over the edge again. Never have minutes gone by so slowly.
Every second feels like a lifetime. Eventually, when I have died more times than I can count, the cart moves out of sight and I almost collapse into Samuel’s arms.
*?*?*
‘It’s too much of a risk,’ says Hamish bitterly. ‘If we four always carry out the person trying to escape, then at some point we’re going to be found out and likely killed for it. I’m not prepared to do it any more.’
The five of us have been discussing the next potential escape and we’re split about how to continue.
‘What else are we doing to help the cause?’ says Calum. ‘If we do nothing, then we’re simply waiting to die in this hellish place.’
‘You can’t keep getting away with it,’ I say. ‘There should be an agreement with those who carry out a person that one of them can be next if they wish. In this way those who risk their lives know they have a chance to get away on another occasion.’
‘Well, I’m out of it,’ says Hamish. ‘I won’t be involved again.’
‘We have to continue,’ says Calum.
‘In that case I’ll take Hamish’s place,’ I say.
Samuel immediately rounds on me. ‘You’ll do no such thing!’
‘I’ll do what I like. You need four people to carry someone, so I’ll do it and if we’re caught, at least I’ll be killed alongside those I love.’
I know they won’t let me help carry a body, which means that an outsider would have to be brought into the secret and I’m relying on this fact to make them stop altogether. I actually agree with Hamish that the risk is too great.
Any further conversation on the matter is ended by the sound of shouting.
We turn towards the source and see a man violently smashing his head against a wall.
Together, we rush forward yet don’t reach him until he’s hit his forehead twice more.
Samuel and Calum take hold of him as gently as they can, but his despair makes him strong and Hamish also has to help.
‘Be careful with him,’ says Reverend Colvil. ‘Be still, my son. God is with you.’
The man looks quite mad. I’ve seen this expression on a few others, including one Covenanter who later managed to take his own life.
I can hear soldiers laughing by the gate and, as we lie the person down, they shout vile abuse.
The poor wretch before us is too far gone to understand and even Samuel’s father is powerless to calm him.
I can think of nothing else to do, so I force my way between Calum and the man, lie down beside him and take him in my arms. Whimpering, he curls into my body the way that Samuel used to when he was young and I hold him tightly, speaking quiet words of comfort.
He settles against me, his head upon my breast as he cries.
How have we come to this?
The others form a semicircle facing outwards to provide a little privacy, while I lie on the hard ground with this stranger and try to reassure him that everything will be all right and he must not give up hope.
But the words, I know, are really for myself, because I cannot see how we can survive without betraying our beliefs.