Page 30 of A Duchess Disciplined (Dukes of Dominance #1)

CHAPTER 29

W illiam set the coffee aside and rearranged the papers on his desk. The ball had been a success, even if his duchess had left early. Some of the ton had noticed and inquired as to Catherine’s well-being, but they had readily accepted his explanations that she had experienced a sudden migraine.

She fell a week or so ago and hurt her head, and this is the first time she has exerted herself since then. The physician insists that she is fine, but it does seem as though she may be experiencing some lingering symptoms.

His explanation had received sympathetic nods and murmurs, and the rest of the ball had passed uneventfully. He had returned home to a quiet house and enjoyed a quiet breakfast the next morning. And if he felt an inkling of regret that he could not delight in Catherine’s company, no one needed to know about that.

There was a knock on his door. “Come in!”

When the door opened, his breath caught in his throat. It was Catherine, dressed in a white gown that swept gently over every curve of her perfect body. She had been just as beautiful the night before in her new, sky blue gown. He wished that he had told her that.

“Your Grace,” she said. “Do you have a moment to speak with me?”

“Of course. How is your morning?”

“Fine,” she said. “You would know that if you had joined me at breakfast.”

“I did not believe that was necessary,” he replied. “I ate breakfast in my study, as I often do, and read over some papers. I will not bore you with the details.”

“Of course, you would not.”

“What do you need?” William asked. “I have time to speak to you, but it cannot be a conversation which lasts all morning, my lady. I have much business to attend to.”

Catherine crossed the room, her movements so elegant and measured that she nearly glided across the floor. He forced his face into an impassive mask, trying not to betray how the very sight of her made his pulse quicken and his body stir with interest.

“I have been considering our conversation at the ball last night,” Catherine said, “and after some thought, I have decided that I need some time to process the new reality that you have laid out for me.”

William frowned. He had the sinking suspicion that an argument was brewing. “Do you? Have you come here to convince me otherwise?”

“No,” she said. “I believe that I need to return to Elias’s estate and live with my family for a little while. I need some time to clear my head and to decide how best to behave as your wife from this point forward.”

He inhaled sharply. This could have been worse. She could have argued and screamed at him. She might have insulted him or impugned his honor. Somehow, the fact that she had so quickly agreed to accept his decision was more unnerving than any refusal she might have offered.

“What of Hester and Hannah?” he asked. “Who is to be their guardian, while you are away?”

“You are,” she replied. “They survived a long time without having a feminine presence in their lives, and I am certain that they can survive without me for a little while. They are quite resilient.”

“How long do you intend on being away?” William asked.

“I was thinking that I would spend a couple of weeks with my family,” Catherine replied. “Perhaps longer. I do not intend to return indefinitely to my brother’s house if that is your concern.”

“You cannot simply abandon your responsibilities here,” William said. “My sisters will be distraught in your absence, and I will be forced to make arrangements to accommodate for your absence.”

Pink rose to Catherine’s face, and her hands curled over the back of the chair in front of her. “So you will not let me go?” she asked. “Is that it?”

“I am only asking you to account for the consequences of your actions,” William said. “You agree to?—”

“You keep changing the agreement!” she snapped. “I know what I agreed to, and I would have been happy to honor that agreement! But you keep changing the terms, and I am sick of it! I am ill from trying to always do what you want when you cannot even decide what you want from me!”

William was becoming sorely tired of feeling guilty. She was like a phoenix, incandescent with fury, and he slumped against the cushioned back of her chair. “Then, you should be pleased that I wish to return to our original agreement,” William said. “I am correcting our course.”

The defense sounded paltry even to his own ears.

Catherine laughed harshly. “Oh no! You—I told you from the start that I am not your plaything.”

“I remember.”

“You do not get to touch me and treat me kindly and be good to me and then—then, just cast me aside! I cannot live here any longer!”

“You have no choice,” William said, rising. “You are my wife, and I will not have the ton gossiping about us because my own wife refuses to live with me.”

She swept around the chair and slammed her palms against his desk. “Then, I suggest that you agree to my request to spend a couple of weeks living on my brother’s estate,” Catherine said. “Otherwise, I may just choose not to return.”

“I would not allow that,” he said in a strangled voice.

“Do you believe that you could stop me?” she asked incredulously. “Do you believe that I would obey you?”

“That was?—”

“Our wedding vows, I know!” she snapped. “You have reminded me of them often enough, but I can assure you that I intend to see my family, regardless of whether you like it or not. If you refuse me, I will slip away when you least expect it and in the most embarrassing way possible.”

He clenched his jaw and thought of the newly filled decanter of brandy. Maybe it was foolish of him to have expected that Catherine would leave him at peace in his study. William should have anticipated her eventually invading his refuge. Where could he go now that she had?

“You cannot expect me to simply exist here and accept all this without complaint,” Catherine said. “I need more time, and whether you like it or not, I have a right to that. I am a human being, and I have feelings.”

Her words were nothing special coming from the woman who argued with him so often and so eagerly, but for some reason, they struck him as a bolt of lightning might have. She was a person and a woman of refined and delicate sensibilities.

William raked his hands through his hair and looked at her. She was so beautiful, standing before him in all her glorious anger. Catherine’s flushed face and bright, glittering eyes only made her look more beautiful. She had loved him, and he had ruined everything. Had her love turned to hatred, rather than mere indifference? It was impossible to say from her face.

He had been avoiding her since the accident, and he had wrapped his heart in armor to ward away any of her blows. Perhaps, it was for the best that she left for a while. Maybe her absence would make it easier for him to learn not to love her any longer.

William slowly nodded. “You should go,” he said, finding his voice at last. “If that is the way you feel, spending a couple of weeks with your siblings would probably be for the best.”

“I am glad you can see reason,” she replied tartly.

A wretched feeling swept over him. If he was a better man, he might have fought for her. He might have insisted that he did love her. He might have even groveled in an attempt to persuade her that he was good for her.

But he could not do that. A hollowness settled inside him. It was as though he no longer had anything inside himself. Catherine had taken everything from him.

“It is settled, then,” she said. “I will make arrangements to leave at once.”

“Good.”

“Farewell, my husband.”

She swept to the door, and that hollow feeling threatened to crush him. William’s eyes swept over her familiar, slight form. She was a good woman, far better than he deserved, and he had made more mistakes with her than any husband ever ought to make. “Catherine!”

She halted with her hand on the door. With his eyes, he traced the lines of tension in her shoulder and her arms. At last, she turned to fast him. The color in her cheeks had brightened, so her face was now flushed with scarlet. “Yes?”

William’s heart thundered against his ribs. He ought to apologize for everything. I am sorry . It was only three words, four syllables. A lump rose in his throat, clogging him from breathing or forming the words. Still, he tried. He worked his jaw and smiled awkwardly.

Catherine took a step toward him, her expression slowly becoming one of tentative hopefulness. If he apologized, Catherine might forgive him. He stood, pushing his chair out. “Catherine,” he said again.

“Are you attempting to delay me?” she asked, crossing her arms. “If you are, that is childish of you. You realize that, right?”

There was a beat of silence. She fidgeted with her skirts; he planted his palms on his desk, just as she had moments before, in a vain attempt to steady himself.

“I am not attempting to delay you,” he said at last.

“Good. Because I will not be persuaded.”

“I know,” he said. “I just wanted to say that you—you should…”

Her brow furrowed, and he sensed her growing impatience. In her position, he would have been irritated, too. William cleared his throat and squared his shoulders, trying to exude the cool confidence that had once been so familiar to him. “I hope you enjoy your stay with your siblings.”

“Thank you.”

“Take your time.”

Her jaw clenched, and she smiled thinly. The expression was sharp and venomous. “I shall do just that.”

In a swirl of skirts and fury, Catherine tore open the door of the study and vanished through it. She slammed the door behind her, the sound so loud that it shook the room.

After she left, there was nothing but silence. William lowered himself into his chair and stared at the door through which she had just disappeared. Catherine was leaving him. She would not be gone forever, but still for longer than he wanted. William sighed deeply and sank into his chair. What would he do if Catherine left and refused to come back?

No, she would not do that. Would she?

William clasped the arms of the chair, as though his life depended on him clinging to the polished rosewood. “Catherine, what have you done to me?” he murmured. “You are the most vexing woman I have ever met in my life.”

If she would not come back, he would make her return to him. It was as simple as that.