Page 13 of A Duchess Disciplined (Dukes of Dominance #1)

CHAPTER 12

A week had passed since Catherine became the Duchess of Sarsen, and she had not truly seen her husband since that night of shared passion. Had Catherine not known better, she might have thought that she had imagined the wedding entirely. It was as if she had married a ghost.

“Your embroidery is quite exceptional,” Catherine said, looking at the delicate, purple blossoms that Hannah had added to the edge of her sampler.

“Thank you, Your Grace,” Hannah said, her lips twitching into what might have been a half-hearted attempt to smile.

Your Grace . Catherine forced down the lump that rose in her throat. The title was a persistent reminder of what she had become and who she had married. It was a strange feeling, being married to a man whom she barely knew but who also consumed her thoughts.

Then, there were his sisters. She was now their guardian and knew even less of them than of their brother. They remained prim and proper, cold and distant, and Catherine felt as though her every reaction was being coolly analyzed. She must try to win their hearts, though.

“You do not need to call me Your Grace ,” Catherine said. “I like Catherine .”

The formality was maybe what bothered her the most. Her family was lively and loving. Formality had never held a place of importance in their household or in their hearts, and she felt now as though she had been thrust into an unfamiliar world of rules and restraint.

“That would be highly informal,” Hannah said, tipping her chin up. “We are to respect you because you are the Duchess of Sarsen.”

Would it not be more respectful to call her Catherine like she so dearly desired? She bit the inside of her cheek, considering how best to approach this situation. These were only girls, after all.

“While that is true,” Catherine said carefully, “I do hope that we shall become very fond of one another.”

“We are fond of our brother and call him Your Grace ,” Hester argued. “How we address a person has no bearing on if we are especially fond of them or not.”

“I suppose that is true to an extent,” Catherine replied.

Her gaze drifted to her own embroidery, a string of tiny pink flowers that were simply adequate . She had always despised needlework, and from her grimace, Catherine suspected that Hester felt similarly. It was difficult to say with certainty, though, when neither girl smiled very much.

“But I also find that how we address others does indicate something about how we feel towards individuals,” Catherine continued, thinking through her response even as she spoke. “It may denote a certain closeness that is otherwise absent.”

Neither girl looked convinced. Catherine smothered a sigh, refusing to show any evidence of frustration with herself. Dorothy would know what to do in this situation. She would have already charmed these young girls with her good humor and smiles.

“I am beginning to believe that His Grace lives in his study,” Catherine said carefully. “I have scarcely seen him since I married him. Is that his usual manner of doing things?”

Hester wrinkled her nose, and something seemed to spark in her eyes. Whatever fleeting emotion it was vanished so quickly that Catherine had no time, even to identify it.

“Yes,” Hester said. “His Grace’s usual habit is to work in his study, and if he is not there, he is traveling to London or elsewhere.”

“He has much business to attend to as the Duke of Sarsen,” Hannah added, emphasizing her words with a solemn nod.

Perhaps, I ought to be honored he did not miss our wedding night.

Catherine’s face grew warm when she remembered the night. Even though she had been sore the next day, she had found herself wanting to have another experience just like it. She had anticipated seeing him at breakfast and casting sly smiles at one another. She had thought that he might tease her or seek her out later to engage in another amorous encounter, but he had done neither.

“Of course,” Catherine said. “My brother Elias is also a duke, so I know well how much work is involved.”

Elias was never so distant, though. It was true that Catherine’s brother was not the best duke in the world, but he was a fine duke nonetheless. And he had ample time to ensure his family knew he loved them. What excuse could His Grace possibly have for behaving as he was?

“Yet he found the time to chase fairies in the garden with you,” Hester said. “He must not be as busy as ours.”

“But surely, your brother leaves his study sometimes,” Catherine said. “He must also join you on walks through the gardens and riding, I imagine.’

Hannah shook her head. “Sometimes, he will join us for meals.’

“And on holidays,” Hester added.

Catherine considered the girls for a long moment. Had His Grace wanted a guardian for his sisters because he was entirely uninvolved in their lives? She had assumed that he was a frequent presence in their lives, and she was merely a woman being asked to play the part of guardian when he could not be. From how the girls spoke, though, it seemed as though he was not involved much at all in their lives.

“I have heard there is a wonderful park nearby,” Catherine said. “We should go tomorrow. Perhaps, we might persuade His Grace to join us.”

“He will not,” Hester said. “We have asked him to join us before, but he insists that he is too busy. I do not foresee this time being any different.”

Hannah nodded in agreement. “It does not matter how much we plea. He will be unable to join us.”

“It is best to say nothing of it,” Hester said. “Otherwise, we will disturb his solitude, and His Grace will be unable to work.”

“But surely, he cannot work all the time,” Catherine said. “It would be enjoyable if he could come with us, would it not?”

Hannah stabbed her needle through her sample with significantly more force than necessary. “Yes. But the point is irrelevant, as he will not come with us. He never has time to spend with us.”

“That is why he married you,” Hester said, “so you may spend time with us, while he cannot.”

Catherine winced, for although she had surmised as much herself, she felt as though it might have been better had the girls not known. How terrible they must feel, thinking that their brother did not wish to spend time with them?

And certainly, Catherine did not imagine they would think more kindly of her, given that they knew her role was to be a replacement for their brother. A guardian where previously they had not had one. A knot tightened in Catherine’s chest.

“Perhaps, I might persuade him otherwise,” Catherine said. “I shall endeavor to try, at least. As your guardian, I will suggest that you will benefit immensely from his joining us tomorrow.”

“Do you believe that will work?” Hannah asked doubtfully.

“I imagine he will say that you are sufficient,” Hester added. “If you are with us, there is no need for anyone else.”

“Maybe,” Catherine replied, “but it is surely worth a try. I will approach him this evening and ask.”

Hannah hummed. “He has not joined us at the park since Thomas was the Duke of Sarsen.”

“Thomas?” Catherine asked.

She assumed that was not the girls’ father. Such formal children would doubtlessly not call him Thomas .

“Our older brother,” Hester said. “He was the duke before His Grace.”

“Oh,” said Catherine.

Thomas must have died very young. Catherine furrowed her brow. She did have the faintest recollection of a young Duke of Sarsen being involved in a duel a year or so before.

That meant Hannah and Hester had lost both their mother and brother in close succession. Catherine’s heart ached for them. How difficult it all must be! And their one surviving relation spent all his hours locked away in his study, too obsessed with his work even to join them at the park.

“When he was the duke, Thomas was not always in his study,” Hester said, “but he did not spend time with us either. Most often, he was in London or abroad.”

“I see,” Catherine murmured.

It was a small wonder that these girls were so cold and formal. They had grown accustomed to looking after themselves, and Catherine suspected they were too afraid that—if they dared hope for more—their hopes would be for naught. Catherine bit her lip. Dorothy would know what to do, but these poor girls had only her.

She must do her best. That was all anyone could ask of her, yet Catherine feared that her best efforts might not be enough.

“Well,” Catherine said. “I must make the effort, and if His Grace will not agree to join us this time, I shall try again and again until he relents.”

“Do you believe he will relent?” Hannah asked. “You are a lady, and everyone knows that lords do not listen to ladies.”

“I am unlike most ladies,” Catherine said firmly. “I have been told so time and time again. I will not give up until your brother joins us at the park. I promise.”

Hester smiled tentatively. “His Grace did inform us that you are known to be unusual.”

“Unusual?” Catherine asked. “Is that what he said?”

Hannah nodded. “Unusual, but you are going to teach us to be proper ladies.”

They already seemed like proper ladies. Too proper, in fact. Catherine set aside her embroidery and clasped her hands in her lap. “Well, we shall see about that,” she said. “Neither of you have to worry about being proper just yet, not until you are properly introduced to society.”

“It sounds like a dream,” Hannah said, sighing. “All the balls and gowns.”

“It is like a dream sometimes,” Catherine agreed. “And dancing is quite enjoyable. My sister Bridget always dreads the end of the Season because there are fewer balls in the countryside, and she delights in dancing so much.”

“I remember her,” Hannah said. “Your younger sister.”

“Yes.”

“You seem like an….unusual family,” Hester said, her tone seeming to suggest that the words had been chosen with great care.

I might say the same about your family, Catherine thought.

Which was more unusual, after all? A family where they all seemed to love each other too much, or one where they did not seem to spend any time with one another? Certainly, it was not Catherine’ s family that was strange. There must be some reason for His Grace’s behavior, though she could not fathom what it might be.

Was it that the duke himself was still grieving the death of his brother and mother? Maybe he had decided to isolate himself, so his grief was less apparent to his sister. If so, that approach seemed to be working. Instead, they believed that he was always busy and had no time that he might spend with them.

“We may be unusual,” Catherine said at last. “But I like being a little unusual. We are happy as a family, and that is certainly more important than anything else.”

“Is it?” Hannah asked doubtfully. “Does it not vex you that others might perceive you as unusual?”

“Sometimes,” Catherine admitted, “but I would rather have some perceive me as a little strange than I would not be true to myself.”

“But what of your reputation?” Hester asked. “Would you not be concerned that it might suffer?”

“Maybe,” Catherine conceded, thinking.

His Grace would probably prefer that she not be entirely honest about such matters.

“I think of myself, and I am myself in private,” Catherine said. “But I am the Duchess of Sarsen in public. I think of it as a performance, as if I am an actress playing a role. Once the night is done, I am finished with my performance and allowed to be only myself.”

“Oh,” Hannah said quietly. “How interesting.”

“Yes,” Hester replied.

For the first time all week, the girls looked as though they were genuinely interested in her words. They appeared deep in thought, as if they were mulling them over.

“It is an interesting premise,” Hannah said at last. “Be oneself in private and an actress before others.”

“I quite like it,” Hester said.

“It seems deceptive to me,” Hannah said, fixing a stern look on Catherine’s face. “How are we to know that you are being yourself with us?”

“I am your guardian,” Catherine replied. “I will always be myself with you.”

Even as she said it, she felt a tremor of doubt. At the moment, she felt quite unlike herself. Instead, it was as if she was playing a role, an inadequate facsimile of her sister Dorothy. Still, for the sake of these girls, she had to try.

And the first step to doing right by these girls was persuading their brother to leave his study.