Page 49 of A Cursed Son

Yes, there’s that. Not an insignificant hurdle.

When night falls, there are no lights in the house except for two lightstones, one in the kitchen, and one in Marlak’s room, where he’s reading. Nelsin and Ferer soon go to bed, and here I am, hearing crickets chirping outside, unsure what to do.

I touch the walls and find my way to the back of the corridor, near Marlak’s room, which is right across from mine, and knock on the door.

When he opens it, he’s bare-chested, and yet I can’t see much of his scars considering he’s silhouetted against the faint glimmer from the lightstone in the room, where I glimpse a desk and some papers. He looks at the hallway. “Did they go to sleep?”

“I think so. I…” I need to ask for a light, for something. “Do you have candles?”

He retreats into his room. “Come in.”

I remain at the door. Isn’t he the one saying I want to seduce him? Why then is he inviting me into his dimly lit bedroom when he’s half naked? He turns around and notices I’m at the door, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he grabs his lightstone and brings it to me. “Take this. Then bring it back once you’re done.”

I don’t want to owe him a favor like that. “I think I’ll go to sleep. I don’t want to leave you in the dark.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine, thanks. Good night.”

He nods. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. You can call me or your knights.”

Oh, yes, I’ll stumble in the dark hallway and call someone. “Thanks.”

I’m at my door, when I hear him.

“Astra.” Funny how he sometimes remembers my name.

I turn.

“Don’t lock your door,” he says. “You can, but if ever something happens…”

“I won’t lock it.”

With that, I turn and go to my room. It’s with a lot of difficulty and some mild help from the moonlight seeping through the window that I change into another dress, this one just as tight on my chest. I don’t have any nightgowns, and don’t want to sleep naked.

Finally, I murmur the protection incantation as low as I can by the walls of the room.

“Only light here. Light shields us and protects us from evil. Light shields us, and nothing can pass through this wall.”

Light. The only light here comes from the moon. I guess some nights I’ll only have the stars. Or nothing, if it’s cloudy. And yet I need to trust that there’s a different kind of light protecting me—despite everything.

This is not terrible, and it’s a great opportunity for me. I’ll honor my kingdom, and if Marlak has killed the people in Stratson’s state, I’ll make sure he regrets it. Justice. That’s always an honorable goal.

When I lie down, it feels strange to be on a different bed, after years and years in the same room. Still, there’s something calming here. I can hear the river flowing outside and smell the leaves close by, and yet it’s not a place where I belong.

The mattress is firmer and the pillow thinner than what I’m used to, while the sheets under and over me are so much softer.

I close my eyes, hoping I don’t dream about Marlak tonight. Because if I do, how am I going to face him tomorrow?

“Why, Marlak?” My entire body is trembling. I’m so angry. Furious, actually, and scared, or rather, terrified. Terrified of what might happen to him.

He’s leaning against the balcony railing, a starry sky behind him, smiling at me. “I had no choice.” How can he look so calm?

“There’s always a choice. You could have waited, found another way. Something.”

He takes my hands in his and pulls me close, staring into my eyes, a playful glint in his. “You’re crazy if you think there’s anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

“You think it’s funny. Very funny what you did.”