Page 130 of A Cursed Son

He lowers my dress, then, gently, kisses one nipple, then the other. “Magnificent. You’re magnificent, Astra. And you know what? I don’t care how or why you’re doing this. Make me your fool, seduce me, torture me.” He runs a finger over my cheek, the gesture so gentle. “Just tell me you weren’t coerced into doing this.”

Erm… What? “Coerced?” I pull up my dress, covering my breasts, and sit. “You think what? That I’m pretending or something? Didn’t you just listen to me? Did you hear about any evil plan to fool you?”

“I…”

I’m feeling foolish and all that wanting is turning into anger bubbling in my chest. “What about you? Didn’t you say I was unattractive? Pathetic?”

His throat bobs. “Idiotic lies. What did you expect me to say? That I couldn’t stop thinking about you? That I was doomed the moment you faced me without a hint of fear? Meanwhile, you were plaguing me with dreams and visions. You’re still doing it, and I don’t even understand what your goal is.”

I can’t believe what he just said. “You still think I’m influencing your dreams?”

“Are you going to keep denying it?” The pitch of his voice rises. “It gets impossible to talk to you when you won’t admit the obvious.”

I get up. “Oh, you think I like it. You think I chose to dream about the man who kidnapped me.”

He gets up too, his eyes wide.

My fists are clenched and my throat dry. I’m so angry. “You think I created those visions? That day in the cave, when you tried to peer into my mind and then those visions came, that was the most shameful moment of my life! Do you think I wanted to have mental sex with my captor? Who would want that? You think I like to wake up and then find you mocking me because somehow, and I really don’t know how, I was dreaming that I wanted a different kind of milk?” My voice doesn’t come close to the derision I feel for what happened. “Who even says that? I don’t say that. I?—”

My trail of thought gets lost as I notice the horror in his expression. His face is red and his eyes are so wide they’re almost bulging.

“What?” I whisper.

I close my eyes as he moves his arm, then I hear a crack. He just punched the wall beside me.

“What are you saying, Astra?” There’s an odd desperation in his voice. “Is it true? You created none of that? You were subjected to it, just like I was? That first day, those visions, I always thought you wanted to make me feel like a savage, wanted to humiliate me, wanted to delight in giving me pleasure from imagining myself fucking you in the crudest possible way. It felt good, Astra, to take you from behind and enter you without even caring if you were wet enough. But I wouldn’t do that. Not in our first time, at least, not without knowing what you like.” He takes a deep breath. “I thought you were creating everything.”

I still can’t believe him. “You think I’m depraved.”

“No, but you were raised to seduce, Astra. I figured I had fallen into your trap. What was I going to do? It’s not like you ever told me you didn’t create the dreams.”

That has to be a joke. There’s fire in my stomach and mist in my eyes. I ball my fists as if I could contain a sliver of my anger. “I did! So many times! I did! You wouldn’t listen.”

He has the gall to wave a finger in the air. “You pretended you didn’t know what was happening, wife. You even mocked me, told me to seek treatment, when you knew damn well what was happening. Instead of talking to me, so we could figure out a solution together, you kept quiet.”

“You would humiliate me! You would think I wanted you.”

“Oh.” He tilts his head. “And that would be despicable.”

“When you kidnapped me, yes. After you forced me to marry you, then told me I was undesirable, what did you expect? Imagine me saying, Oh, husband, by the way, I have sexy dreams about you almost every night and don’t know why. Would you really expect me to confess that?”

“Sexy.” He huffs. “If you didn’t want these visions, and if you felt them the way I did, there’s nothing sexy about them. I’m horrified, Astra. You should have told me.”

“Would you have believed me?”

“I’m believing you now.” He places his hands on his head. “I… I didn’t know what to think, Astra. I thought it was an elaborate plan to seduce me, but I didn’t understand why. Our first meeting was strange, but then…” He sighs. “The dreams, they were like some dreams I had before, except that now I saw you clearly, and then I could think about nothing except you. Even though I was convinced I was being manipulated, convinced of some ulterior motive, I couldn’t help it; I had to have you.”

I’m confused, dizzy, and I don’t know what to think anymore. “Wasn’t it because you feared I’d find out your secrets and tell your brother?”

“That, too. Part of it. But I tried to learn everything I could about you, and then I found out they were probably going to try to marry you to Renel. I had to prevent that.” He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, then stares at me. “Astra, if you have the same dreams I have, you must be under constant torture.”

This was not how I expected him to describe it. “Torture?”

“The torture of wanting someone so desperately that little else matters. Maybe… when I tried to look into your mind, I think it ignited some magic, something. A mind connection.” He frowns. “We need to break it.”

Break it. He doesn’t want it. I can’t imagine myself without those dreams, and he doesn’t want them. “Why didn’t you try to break this connection before?”

“I couldn’t even figure what it was. But if our minds are bonded…” He scratches his chin. “And if both of us don’t want it… There’s someone... I think there’s a way. And I can deal with torment. But you… no. You should not be subjected to that.” He takes my hand and kisses it. “And those dreams create thoughts that might not be true. Feelings that might not be true.”