Page 106 of A Cursed Son

He opens his mouth, but says nothing. Instead, he pauses, then asks, “Are you jealous?”

I don’t want to consider this possibility, so I pretend to misunderstand the question. “Of her magic? I don’t know what it is.”

He runs a finger over his hair, then sighs and extends his hand. “Touch me. It won’t make it right in relation to what happened yesterday, but I can show you what happened between me and the princess.”

I want to say that I have no intention to intrude in his thoughts, that it won’t give me back my secrets, that I don’t care.

Instead, I feel myself stepping forward and clasping his wrist, eager to see everything he wants to show me.

I’m in a rich bedroom, all white, with translucent curtains and an enormous four-poster bed. Breathing is almost impossible, as if my chest was being squeezed. So much pain.

And then I see the cause of my pain, when I stare at those eyes and the ocean of sadness in them. Crisine is beautiful. Stunning, and it’s not only because of her silver hair, tan, almost golden skin, or warm, golden-brown eyes. It’s the familiar comfort in looking at her. And now she’s hurt and yet I’m the one overcome with pain.

“No, Marlak.” Her voice is soft, pleading. “Why stop something that brings us joy?”

I shut my eyes. Why indeed? Why create pain when there’s no need? But I know this is the right choice. I just never imagined it would be so hard.

“You need a husband,” I say, trying to make sure my words don’t hurt her. “Your mother wants you to make an alliance, strengthen her kingdom. Find that husband. It’s not me.”

In truth, I’m well aware that her mother wants me to marry her daughter, wants to have an excuse to declare war against the Crystal Court, and I don’t want anything to do with it. I don’t want to be a pawn in her bid for power. But Crisine isn’t aware of any of that, so I don’t want to blame her.

She fists her hands. “I’m not my mother. I never said we had to get married. Things are great the way they are. Why change them?”

Herein lies the other problem. How long are we going to keep lying to each other, pretending we can live day by day, ignoring the future? I reach out a hand and touch her face. Too late, I realize it’s a mistake, as she closes her eyes. I want to kiss her and ignore all the other problems. Kiss her and stay in this bedroom until forever, but I can’t forget my?—

I realize I’m in Marlak’s mind, in the past, and for a moment I can’t hear his thoughts anymore, until I’m back in.

“I have to go,” Marlak says, then pulls his hand. My hand. “I want you to be free to find the love you deserve, to start a family. The longer we keep pretending this doesn’t mean anything, the longer I prevent you from finding your true love.”

Her laughter is bitter. “I don’t need true love.” She mocks those words. “I just want you. We could be amazing together.”

I step back, realizing there’s no easy way to do this, no way I can walk away and not hurt her. “I can’t. For too many reasons. Goodbye, Crisine. Don’t make this worse than it has to be. You’ll always have a special place in my heart.” I know because it’s in agonizing pain.

I turn around to leave, one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but she’s fast and steps in front of me, blocking my passage. “Don’t you dare go away. Step out of this door and I’ll never want to see your face again.”

Her anger relieves some of the pain in my chest. “If that makes it easier for you, I understand.”

“Screw you,” she yells. “Screw you and your sweet, meaningless words. You think you’ll have a chance like this again? A chance to have a kingdom backing you? You think you have the slightest odds of getting back that throne? You have none. You’re nothing. Nobody will support you. Nobody wants you as a king. Are you going to refuse the help of the Spider Court? Are you that much of a fool?”

The angrier she gets, the easier it is for me, even though it hurts for a different reason now. “I guess I am.”

She still stands between me and the door. “Don’t be ridiculous. Don’t squander this chance. We’ll retake the Crystal Court. Together.” So she agrees with her mother’s plan. Interesting. What a fool I was. Her eyes have a mad glint now. “We’ll be great. Together. Without me, you’ll never achieve anything. You’re nothing but a dishonorable, disgraced prince.”

“I know.” And somehow I feel no shame.

“You think anyone will look at you? You’re disfigured, Marlak, with human ears to make it worse. Nobody will want you. For your magic, maybe, like a breeding bull, but that’s it.”

Her words don’t hurt, they don’t hurt half as much as leaving her was hurting me. They’re a strange balm, wiping the pricking sensation I had before. I smirk. “I’m glad to hear what you think of me. I just don’t understand why you’re blocking the door.”

There’s a sudden change in her face. I can see the regret in it, but I don’t know if it’s because she thinks she hurt me or because she realized she let her mask slip. “I didn’t mean it.” Her voice is soft now.

“Cris.” I don’t know if I laugh or sigh. “You meant every word. And you can’t lie. But it’s good to?—”

“I meant that other fae think that. That’s why I always tell you to use glamour, get your ears fixed. It’s a simple operation.”

I’m tired of it. She doesn’t move away from the door so I cross the room and go to the window. I don’t even look back at her as I say, “Goodbye.”

Then I jump, hoping my air magic will be enough to save me. At least all I’m risking now is physical pain, and that’s the gentlest type of pain.