Page 54 of A Cowboy Holiday
I couldn’t wait anymore. I had to see Tanner. Now.
“Josh, can I leave Phee with you for half an hour? I need to—I have to?—”
“Go. Take your time. It’s Christmas.”
Christmas.
I raced out of the barn, and I could have sworn I saw a large man in a red track suit who looked just like that Santa from the Christmas Light Show in the distance. I blinked and he was gone. Strange. I didn’t give it a second thought.
I adjusted my Stetson as I power-walked, then ran. I didn’t know where to look first…his house, his brother’s house? Yeah, that was probably it. He was with his family and had turned off his cell and?—
No.
There he was.
Tanner led a horse from the stables, his hat hung low over his face. Like me, he was dressed in jeans, the collar of his plaid shirt visible under his khaki jacket. He could have stepped out of a Western movie—the solitary man and his horse on a misty Christmas morning.
I squeezed the key in my pocket and raced toward him. “Tanner!”
He stopped and offered a tepid imitation of a grin. “Good morning. I?—”
“What is this?” I held up the key, my heart pounding against my ribcage.
His smile turned sad and faded quickly. “Just a reminder, that’s all. I want you to know that you’re welcome here…always. You’ve got plans, and I respect that. I have no doubt you’ll be thebest vet that Texas ranch has ever seen, and…I’m happy for you. I don’t want to hold you back or?—”
“Hold me back?” I tore my hat off and scratched my head, my blood rushing between my ears like a freight train whistling into a station at full speed…
What if, what if…
What if I didn’t have to prove anything? What if I could just…be happy? What if this was the magic that Santa had promised me? Clarity, surrender, hope.
“You know what I mean,” he continued. “I don’t want to?—”
“Stop. Don’t—just let me tell you…” I pursed my lips and blurted, “I love you.”
His fingers slipped on the reins. “You love me?”
“Yes. I love you, and I want to be with you. Here…if you’ll have me. Us.” I paced away from him, hat in hand as a new world of possibilities opened. “And I’m ready to quit running. Twenty-year-old crimes can stay in the grave. I’ve done my mourning. They say happiness is the best revenge anyway. And damn it…you make me happy, Tanner. You.”
Tanner dropped the horse’s reins and crashed his mouth to mine, crushing my hat. I didn’t care. I took him in my arms and held tightly.
He came up for air, his eyes bright and sunny. “I love you too, Axe. Stay with me. You and Phoebe. Make this home.”
“You’re home, Tanner. You. I want to wake up next to you every morning, and spend every day loving you. Starting now.”
“On Christmas Day,” he said in a dreamy voice.
“Merry Christmas, cowboy.”
I held his face in my hands and kissed him again, pouring everything I had into the connection.
And just like that, the stars aligned, the world came into focus, and hope and joy filled the cracks and crevices in mybattered soul. This was the peace, this was a beginning, this was everything I’d thought I’d find after I slayed my old demons.
In a twist, it wasn’t karma that brought joy. It wasn’t timely retribution or justice finally getting her due.
No, it was love. Always love.
And a little holiday magic never hurt.