Page 44 of A Cowboy Holiday

“Less than twenty-four hours.”

He laughed, seemingly unbothered by the notion as he listened to my enthusiastic five-year-old point out all the wonders that had magically shown up in the front yard. I watched them together. Tanner’s hair flopped into his eyes and his top right incisor caught his bottom lip with a winning smile.

He was handsome and kind. And I probably should have been a little worried about the butterflies in my stomach, but I steadfastly stayed in the here and now under the flicker of a thousand lights on a cool December evening. I let Tanner’s deep timbre and Phoebe’s high-pitched squeals of joy wash over me, carving a new sweet holiday memory.

Years from now, I knew I’d remember this night.

CHAPTER 12

TANNER

The holiday season was officially upon us. You couldn’t watch TV without being bombarded by commercials featuring Santa and his elves hawking amazing deals. Seaside towns sold ornaments of starfish and mermaids tangled in holiday lights, and every store was jam-packed with must-have items, like gift tags, bows, paper goods, and cinnamon-scented candles.

Naturally, Christmas Town outdid them all. The biggest tree in the West was a beacon, delighting awe-struck tourists who stopped at the bottom of the hill to take photos before venturing onto the bustling Holiday Lane where lights crisscrossed from end to end.

Phoebe and I talked Axel into taking a trip to see the holiday hullabaloo. We clandestinely purchased a few books for Phee from Moody’s Marvelous Bah-Humbug Bookstore, perused the toy store, and admired the gingerbread houses on display from the annual contest held for charity at Vicki’s Cantina while chowing down on her chicken noodle soup.

This was my second visit to Christmas Town with Axe and Phee, but this time, we were something more than friends and coworkers. We didn’t hold hands or kiss under the mistletoein front of Donner’s Diner, but we didn’t hide either. Folks could think what they wanted, or…they could choose to believe Phoebe, who’d pretty much told anyone with a pulse that her daddy and Mr. Tanner kissed…a lot.

“Is that true?” Jax had asked one morning over donuts and coffee.

“Yes. Maybe. But…it’s complicated.”

Jax had stuffed an apple fritter in his gob and nodded. “Real complicated. He’s leaving soon, Tan. I just checked with him to be sure for payroll purposes. He didn’t sound like a man who was thinking of changing his mind.”

“I know.” I’d sipped my coffee and stared out the window. “Don’t worry. I know the score.”

And I did.

That didn’t mean I was okay with it. At all.

It seemed pretty fucking unfair to meet someone who felt like a breath of fresh air after suffocating in a safe space for far too long.

But life wasn’t fair. I knew better than to waste time wishing for more. In a way, the holidays provided a fortuitous distraction. I tossed out seasonal ideas while we fed the horses, checked on the herd, rounded up Nellie and her kids…

“You haven’t seen the holiday boat parade in the harbor. Let’s go.”

“I heard there’s some snow on the ground in the mountains. Want to take a drive? I’ll bring Lila and Gordy. They love the snow.”

“Vicki is hosting a cookie-decorating party for kids at her shop. Phee will love it.”

Axel usually grunted, but then he’d tip his hat and flash a lopsided, lazy smile. “Sure.”

We included Phoebe in most of our outings and occasionally invited Abby or Sydney.

Like today.

The girls frosted sugar cookies at a kid-sized table at the Cantina while we sipped hot cocoa at a nearby window seat, ranking our favorite Christmas movies growing up, sprinkles or no sprinkles on desserts, and how old we were when we stopped believing in Santa Claus.

I lovedElf, Axel lovedHome Alone, and we each gave a thumbs-up to sprinkles.

As for Santa:

“I was ten. My mom left the price tags on the box of Jax’s Megatron Transformer and crushed my soul,” I lamented, licking whipped cream from the rim of my to-go cup, tapping my feet to “Last Christmas” being piped through the speaker system.

Axel snorted. “Poor baby.”

“I was traumatized. I literally cried. She denied it, and she was pretty convincing. Something about the elves using stickers to help local stores, so grandparents would know where to buy toys too. Like advertising.”