Page 89
Story: Yesterday I Cared
“No, I know she’s not going anywhere.” It’s a relief to know she’s always going to be by my side and have my back. Just like I have hers.
“Do you want those other people to come back?” Joy questions. “Would they enrich your life if they came back?”
My parents are living their lives, the lives they always dreamed about having once I graduated. It might have hurt like hell to have them leave, but their happiness matters as much as mine. I don’t even have a bad relationship with them, and I know how content they are. I wouldn’t want to take that from them. And Bianca is a simple answer. Had there been a time I wanted her to come back? Maybe, but it’s long gone.
“No,” I admit. “Definitely not Bianca. My parents coming back would enrich my life, but at the cost of their own happiness, and I won’t do that to them.”
Joy nods, resting her hands on her notepad with a smile. “You’ve found your people, Mia. You don’t need to cling to them; they’re not going anywhere.”
Did I just win therapy?
“Now, we’re out of time for today, but I’ll see you back here in two weeks.”
Nope, I guess not.
A couple of nights later, Ronan and I are surprised to see Emmie sitting at the picnic table when we leave Adair. Practice ended almost half an hour ago, but there she was, reading a book.
“Hey, kiddo,” I greet, moving away from my boyfriend. She turns to smile up at me, nodding when I motion to the bench across from her. “What are you doing here? Where’s Liam?”
She bites back a grin. “He was on a job site with Katrina. Apparently, there was an accident. He’s fine!” She adds the last part whenRonan, who had taken the seat beside me, and I exchange worried looks. “Something about paint exploding all over him. He got stuck there longer, texted to tell me what happened, but I told him to stop by the apartment to change and shower. I know Coach Bryce is here for at least another hour, usually, so I told Liam he approved it.”
I suck my bottom lip in to keep from laughing; Ronan is fighting his own amusement.
“Next time, come tell one of us, okay?” he says. “I know you can navigate this whole city on your own, but we have a responsibility and want to know if you’re staying on property late.”
“Ronan’s right,” I add with a nod. “Did you want us to give you a ride home?”
“No, it’s okay. He should be here in like ten minutes. Can I ask you something, Coach?”
“Of course,” he replies immediately.
“I saw some articles about what you were like when you were younger.”
A hot flush works its way up my boyfriend’s cheeks, and I reach out to grab his hand. He clears his throat. “What about them?”
“Were you really that big of a jerk?”
“He was never a jerk,” I cut in before he has the chance to say anything. Emmie’s eyes drift to me, clearly confused. “Josie and I met these guys for the first time in 2015, so I’m a trustworthy source. He was young, popular, and talented, and he fell into some partying. The newspapers got a hold of it thanks to his popularity and blew it out of proportion.”
“I’m not going to pretend like I don’t have a past, Emmie,” Ronan jumps in. “Sticking to this sport for the fame and attention and sticking to it for love and passion have two different outcomes. I’m proof of that. There are things I did in my early twenties that I regret, but I can’t change them. That’s why I always want to make sure youguys are doing this because you want to. Along the way in my career, it became a job I dreaded going to, and I didn’t have the opportunity to regain my love for it until I couldn’t compete.”
“The accident,” she murmurs.
He must have told his team about the accident. Since his parents erased every trace of their golden boy’s fall, there’s no way any of us would know he was involved without being told. He did everything right, and a drunk driver took his career from him, and the life of his Uber driver.
He sighs. “Yes. A couple of stupid actions turned into who I was in the eye of the swimming world. There were times I leaned into it—because having a reputation means you’re less likely to disappoint people—but it’s not who I was. Just like with any sport, especially at a level you’re aspiring to be at, it can have its downfalls and its dangerous areas. You’ll be faced with choices, and I can’t make them for you. I can only remind you, and every one of your teammates, that your past follows you. You can’t run from it because it will outrun you. So, try to make choices you can always be proud of. It won’t be perfect, but owning your decisions makes them yours.”
“And if you ever need someone to talk to, your brother is there for you,” I add, reaching out to squeeze her arm. “Ronan, Carter, and Bryce have all faced the choices you’ll have to face, so use them as the resources they are. They’re going to do their best to guide you, but they can’t help you with what they don’t know about.”
“And you?” she asks, surprising me. “Can I come to you for advice? I know it may be weird, but I’m a girl surrounded by a ton of testosterone. I need girl power.”
“Absolutely. But you want to know a secret?” She perks up and nods. “These guys aren’t fazed by anything, and they may surprise you. They’re hardcore feminists, all three of them.”
Her eyes go comically wide as she turns to Ronan. My boyfriend nods. “Screw the patriarchy.”
She beams at me. “That’s really cool.”
I wonder what it must feel like to be her age and know there are men out there who are as pissed off as we are. That are willing to stand up and help us fight until our voices are heard. Women and young girls are ignored every single day, especially in their sports and in their jobs; and every single day, Emmie gets to come to a club that will fight for her right to be there, to be seen, to be heard, and to be taken seriously. At Adair, her role in her sport is as important as any of her male identifying teammates. It warms my heart to know I get to be part of it.
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