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I don’t go back to that day in the stairwell because this kiss feels different. This kiss is us, through and through. Suddenly, I’m in my early twenties, chasing a dream with my best friend. I’m in Charlotte, North Carolina again, staring up at swimming’s goldenboy after he caught me in his arms. Things look brighter. I’ve never known the kind of heartbreak I know now. Everything’s possible. Nothing is without reach, including this man.

But that’s not reality.

As soon as his lips move to deepen the kiss. I pull back with a gasp. Ronan’s staring down at me, jaw slack, breathing a little heavier. Somewhere in the kiss, his grip on my arm had dropped. I take a step back. “That cannot happen again.”

Ronan follows me. “Right, I agree.”

“Ronan!” I take another step back, and he follows. “I’m serious.”

“So am I.” I’m pressed between a kitchen island and solid muscle. Except I don’t want to escape. “Completely serious.”

Everything is different about the next kiss. Ronan’s hand is cupping the back of my neck, tilting my head toward him to angle it just right. There’s no hesitation, as a quick swipe against my bottom lip and the small gasp I release is all he needs before sliding his tongue inside and taking control of the kiss.

Oh, my god. My fingers reach up until they’re combing the dark hair at the nape of his neck.This man is always going to ruin me.

With his other hand, he grips me tighter around the hip and takes another step closer. There’s not a single part of our body that isn’t touching, and I feel my resolve melting away. I don’t want to be mad at this man. I don’t want to be hurt over the things of the past. I want to know this version of him. I want to see how he’s grown and changed. I want to know how much of the guy I knew is still inside him and whether our lives can be entwined the same way they once were.

I want more, I finally admit to myself.

We break apart at the sound of a loud thump and laughter from the living room. Both of us are turned toward the doorway, frozen like we’re about to be walked in on, breathing hard.

Reality starts to come back into focus. We’re in Josie and Bryce’s kitchen and we just had a fight. An angry kiss between enemies might be hot in a romance novel, but in real life, it’ll complicate things. And I can’t allow for things to be more complicated.

I gently push Ronan back. He stumbles away from me, swallowing thickly, and bringing a hand up to fix his hair.

“That will never happen again.”

“What?”

I glare at him, taking a second to pull myself together. If I go out there right now, my best friend will know what happened with a single look. “Both kisses were mistakes. I’ll never let it happen again.”

Ronan opens his mouth to say something, green eyes going a little wide, but he never gets the chance. Carter enters the kitchen. He stops as soon as he enters the room, frowning at both of us.

“Are you guys good?” Carter focuses his attention fully on me. He might not know what happened between Ronan and me, but he’s more than aware of what his guy friends are capable of. And he’s not afraid to call them out. “Josie sent me in here to make sure you hadn’t killed each other yet.”

“If I have to be alone with him for a second longer, I might kill him.” I push past Ronan, purposefully heading toward the living room. “What was that thump?”

Carter follows behind me. “Bryce fell off the arm of the couch.”

I laugh, but it sounds a little strained. “Of course he did.”

“Mia.” Carter’s voice is lowered. “Are you good?”

“Fucking peachy, Carter.” The sarcasm is evident, and I know he’ll want to follow-up about it, but I don’t know what else to say to him. He doesn’t deserve my lies.

He hums in understanding, murmuring, “We’ll talk about this later,” as we enter the living room.

Carter and Josie corner me at work on Monday morning.

I don’t know why I’m surprised, but the way they storm in and shut the door of our office and snap the lock behind them makes it feel like an ambush. Then Josie pulls the blinds, and I absolutely feel like I’m being held hostage.

“What’s going on?” I ask, warily looking between the two of them. “Should I be worried?”

“Carter told me what he saw, and I think we need to talk.” Josie plops down in her chair, staring at me expectantly. Carter sits in the cramped chair in the corner. I almost laugh at the way he has to fold his long limbs to sit properly. “Start talking.”

I turn to Carter. “What exactly did you see?”

His cheeks turn bright red, his eyes widening slightly. “Um…well, I…”