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I take my time getting dressed, applying my makeup with extra care and choosing a navy blue pantsuit. I nod at my reflection and say, “You look like someone who’s about to blow her life up.” Nope, too negative. “You look like someone on a mission. A really impossible one.” Wow, I suck at pep talks. I release my breath in a huff, grab my keys, and leave the apartment.
As promised, I stop by a bagel shop on the way to the office and buy two dozen bagels and four different tubs of cream cheese. I know I am overcompensating and probably trying to assuage my guilt by overfeeding everyone, but at the very least Shang’s mom won’t go hungry while I have the world’s most awkward conversation with her son. When I get to the office, I instruct everyone to please just not call me Mulan when the Wutai Gold people show up.
“Do you want us to call you Zhou?” Josh the analyst says. I guess word has gotten out about me asking Mushu and Gerald to call me Zhou last time.
“No,” I say. I am so tired of being Zhou. The last thing I want to hear is anyone calling me Zhou.
They all look at me with apparent confusion. Mushu raises her hand.
“Yes?” I say wearily.
“Is there a name you’d prefer us to use, or are you in, like, a nameless era right now, like a rapper or a yogi?”
“Oh, right.” I sigh. God, I’m too tired to even put on my Work Mulan mask and say something professional. Of course I haven’t thought of a name for myself. “Just. I need to do something, and can you all just not…mention my name at all until after I do the thing? If you need me, I don’t know, just tap my shoulder or say ‘Hey’ really loudly or something.”
Mushu nods with a satisfied smile. “Yep, she’s in her yogi era. This is Transcendent Mulan. Oops, sorry, not Mulan. She whose name shall never be uttered.”
“Okay, glad that’s sorted.” I hand the bagels over to an intern and instruct him to lay them out nicely in the conference room. Then I signal to Mushu to follow me into my office. As soon as we have privacy, I turn to her and say, “I’m going to tell Shang the truth.”
“Damn, okay,” she says.
“Today. Right now.” I check my watch. “Well, in a few minutes. He’s coming here before the meeting with Wutai Gold.”
Mushu’s eyes widen. “Really? Before the meeting?”
“Yeah, and it has to be before the meeting because”—I take a deep breath—“I’m telling his family the truth, too.”
Mushu whistles. “Wow. Have you thought this through?”
I nod. “I can’t go through with the buyout knowing that I’ve lied to them this whole time.”
“Okay. I’ve got your back no matter what.”
“Thanks, Mushu.”
“Even though I think you’re making a terrible mistake. I’m telling you, changing your name legally is the way to go.”
“Yeah, okay, thank you.” I shake myself, smiling a little as Mushu leaves the office. How does Mushu manage to make me laugh even at a time like this?
I check my phone again. Shang should be here by now. I look up, peering through the glass walls of my office, half expecting to see him arriving with his mom, but the reception area is Shang-less. I open up our text thread and begin composing a message, but then delete it. He’s probably on his way, and I don’t want him to text while driving.
The minutes crawl along, painfully slow. I sit at my desk, one foot wagging nervously, picking up my phone every now and again in case I’ve somehow missed a text from Shang. Just then, a message arrives. But it’s not from Shang. It’s from his mom.
Auntie Jiayi:
Hi Zhou, this is Auntie Jiayi. Shang told me to message you because he is driving. There was a car accident on the road, looks like we will be late to the meeting. Shang is very sorry.
“No!” I groan out loud. “Damn it.” I quickly type out a reply thanking Auntie Jiayi for the update, then bury my face in my hands. Now what? I don’t want to ambush Shang with the news in front of his family; after everything the two of us have shared, he deserves to be told this in private. My palms are so sweaty by now that my phone slips out of my hands and drops onto the floor. I barely register it.Breathe. But I can’t. There’s a fist around my chest and it’s squeezing.Stop that. Stop. Get a freaking grip. I force myself to take a deep inhale and count to five before releasing it in one long, continuous exhale.
The answer comes to me slowly. It’s too late for me to cancel the meeting now; the Lis are probably all on their way. So the next-best thing would be to stall. Yes. I’ll tell them that there is a slight delay, that the legal department is still ironing out small kinks—yes, that’s good, every contract has kinks—and that we will be ready later today. Or the day after, whatever works for the Lis. And as soon as I can get Shang alone, I will immediately tell him.
I grip the armrest of my chair, tightening and loosening my hands as I go over the new plan. As far as plans go, it’s not a brilliant one, but it’s decent, and that’s the best I can hope for under the circumstances. The Lis aren’t going to be pleased about having their time wasted, but they’re businesspeople—they are not unfamiliar with delays and minor disruptions like this.
By the time the Li family arrives, I’m as ready as I can be. I greet them at the reception area, giving each one a firm handshake, telling them how nice it is to see them again. I’m leading them into the conference room when Shang and his mother arrive. He hurries out of the elevator as soon as the doors slide open and greets his family but doesn’t stop walking until he’s in front of me.
“Hey, I’m so sorry I couldn’t get here earlier,” he says.
“That’s okay, don’t worry about it,” I say.