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CHAPTER SIX
“What have you done?” I moan at Mushu for the sixteenth time.
From behind the changing room curtain, Mushu’s voice calls out, “I’ve saved the buyout for you. You’re welcome. How’re those jeans looking?”
“Like normal jeans? I’m still not quite understanding why I needed to get a new pair when I own, like, ten pairs of perfectly good jeans at home.”
“Mulan, Mulan, Mulan.” Then, without checking, Mushu yanks the curtain open dramatically.
“Hey!” I scramble to cover my shirtless top half.
Mushu gasps, her gaze locked on my jeans. “Oh, Mulan, they look so good! Turn around.”
“Get out of here,” I snap.
Completely ignoring me, Mushu pokes at my hip and says, “Look at the way these Western jeans hug your hips without squeezing your waistline. Which ones are these? TheWRESTLE ME LOUDLY COWBOYjeans?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose as Mushu locates the tag attached to the back of the jeans. “That cannot be a real name for a pair of jeans.”
“Ah,” Mushu says, squinting at the tag. “Nope, this is theULTIMATE FUN TIME DON’T MESS WITH THIS COWGIRLcollection.”
“These names have got to be made up,” I grumble.
“Well, yes, they are. That’s exactly how names come about. You see, when an advertiser falls in love with a product, they get together and make an ad campaign with all sorts of catchy names in it,” Mushu says slowly.
I roll my eyes, but I can’t help smiling. “Shut up. You know what I mean.”
“According to this tag, theULTIMATE FUN TIME DON’T MESS WITH THIS COWGIRLjeans are designed to make your ass pop while also having superfine stitching on the inside leg so your thighs don’t chafe when you ride.” Mushu grins and wiggles her eyebrows.
“Ew, gross, stop that, I wasn’t even thinking of him!”
Mushu’s eyebrows knot together. “Who’s him? Obviously I meant when you ride a horse. Who did you think I meant?”
Heat blooms in my cheeks and I avoid meeting Mushu’s gaze as unwelcome images of Shang float through my traitorous mind. “Uh, nobody. Just, you know, in general. Don’t be a perv.”
Mushu narrows her eyes. “I don’t think I’m the one being perverted here.” A slow, horrible grin spreads across her face.“Oooh.”
“Stop that, you look like the Joker.”
“I think we know who’s been on your mind,” Mushu sings.
“Nobody is on my mind!”
Mushu clasps her hands and presses them to her cheek. “Oh, Shang,” she trills. “Please sweep me off my feet with those granite-hard arms of yours and carry me into the setting sun!”
“Are you a horny teen?” I snap, but I can’t help giggling a little as Mushu swoons dramatically. Plus, Mushu isn’t technically wrong; I haven’t been able to keep Shang out of my mind ever since our disastrous meeting the day before.
After the meeting, I went to visit Baba at the hospital. He was asleep, so I talked to Mama and told her how badly the meeting had gone and how we now had to go to the Wutai Gold ranch and distillery to prove my “manliness.”
Mama laughed so hard that she had to grasp my arms to keep from collapsing to the floor. “Oh, Mulan,” she cried. “Only Mushu could’ve wrangled that outcome out of the meeting.”
“What do I do, Ma?” I said with all the helplessness of a toddler.
As Mama wiped her tears of mirth away, she said, “Well, you made your bed, now you have to lie in it.”
“I didn’t make my bed! Mushu did.”
“And who chose to go into the meeting pretending to be a managing partner, with Mushu as your associate?” Mama said, ignoring my groan. “You go to this ranch and you show them who’s the man.”