Page 60 of With Wing And Claw

No one had ever mourned her father with her.

Even if they’d cared, she’d never known it.

‘And then you stayed here,’ she finally whispered, cautious, all too aware a single wrong word may just shatter that fragile understanding between them. ‘All this time, while they were looking for you.’

‘Oh, not immediately.’ Again that tightening of his lips. ‘I tried to get you out of that place in those first days. Figured the alves or the vampires might at least be willing to take in a child, even if they slit my throat the next moment. Didn’t manage to get through to you, though.’

She blinked. ‘What?'

‘She kept a bloody sharp eye on you. The Mother.’ His knuckles tightened at the mention of the title; the marks on the backs of his hands glittered dangerously. ‘You shouldn’t underestimate what an asset you’ve been to her from the very start. Cy and Echion were two of the strongest mages of their generation – of course the old bitch wasn’t going to let such a promising young talent slip away.’

She had never thought of herself as an asset.

Or perhaps the reality was rather that she’d never beentreatedas one, as some valuable treasure to be cherished and won over. She’d just been … there. No one had even doubted that.Shehad never doubted it. Assets were people like Creon, who had been fussed over and flaunted for all the world to see.

And yet…

You’ll be guarded well, the Mother had said, smile sweet as honey.There’s no need to be afraid anymore, sweetheart. We’ll make sure our most trusted people stay close to you for as long as you want.

Not to protect her.

Tocontainher.

‘I had no idea,’ she whispered – hollow, woefully inadequate words for the memories tilting upside down inside her mind. ‘I …’

‘You were a child,’ Silas said, his tone bitter. ‘Of course you believed what you were told. It’s what children do.’

A biting laugh slipped past her lips. ‘I haven’t been a child for a while.’

‘Trust me.’ He rose from the bed to pour himself another cup of tea. ‘I’m well aware.’

Four centuries of unquestioning loyalty. Four centuries of obeying the Mother’s every wish and whim – the High Lady who’dsparedher from the hounds, perhaps, but why had she never in all those years realised that her saviour had also been the one to put her in danger in the first place?

But I did take her down in the end, she almost blurted, a strange, desperate plea for that tightness in her uncle’s jaw to soften.I helped, at least. I told them how to break the bindings. But she should know better than to angle so eagerly for anyone’s approval, and this very secret was thelastthing she should share with anyone …

A traitor’s daughter.

Far, far too many people knew already.

‘And then after those first days …’ she forced herself to say instead, trying to hold back the confusion, the shame, the weakness cracking through her shields. ‘Some people thought you’d sought refuge with the other magical peoples.’

‘I never even tried.’ The shadows deepened on his face. ‘Made myself a little too useful during the wars the Mother waged against them. They had no reason to risk her wrath for the sake of my sorry neck.’

She could see that.

‘And I didn’t have many other options.’ He sank down on the foot of the bed again, golden wings splaying out behind his broad shoulders. ‘Your father was the best friend I ever had. Cy was like a little sisterto me. The Mother damn well knew I wouldn’t sit back quietly after the way she destroyed them, and half the court owed me favours at the time – I was far too influential for her to risk any public defiance from my side.’

‘You didn’t try to …’ She hesitated, hearing the hollow naivety in her own words but unable to stop all the same. ‘You didn’t try tochangethe place.’

He gave a short, sharp laugh. ‘There is no changing the Crimson Court.’

‘But you had all your bargains! You said so yourself!’ Her voice had no business sounding so shrill all of a sudden – the past bleeding into the future, into the viper’s nest she’d left behind a mere hour ago. ‘If the Mother tried to stop you, that means she thought therewassomething to stop, so—’

‘The Mother was only half of the problem, Thys.’ He leaned forward, elbows on his thighs, mug loosely clasped between his hands as his gaze narrowed on her. ‘No one spoke a word of protest as she fed one of her most loyal followers to the fucking hounds. No one even asked a single bloody question. They happily went on feasting and fucking to their heart’s content, as if nothing had ever happened. So you can change rulers, you can put a new face at the top of it all, but you won’t change what’s festering beneath. The rot is in every fibre of that place.’

‘No,’ she said, breathlessly – not even sure what she was denying anymore but unable to do anything else, to accept the perfect sense he was making. ‘No, that can’t be right. Therehasto be a way. There always is. I …’

Fae encounters.