Page 114 of With Wing And Claw

‘Tea?’ Nicanor suggested cautiously.

‘Fuck off with your tea!’ Inga’s voice fractured as she jerked up her head. ‘Thysandra,listen. We made a detour past the archives on our way here. Wanted to make sure no one was attacking the place again, which wasn’t the case, but then … then …’

Silas quietly shut the door behind him, then leaned against it, jaw set in a tight line. ‘Looks like Gadyon is gone, Thys.’

Even Nicanor stiffened at that.

Naxi’s eyes had widened, shooting back and forth between Silas and Inga.

‘Gone?’ Thysandra repeated warily, not sure what to make of the tears in Inga’s eyes or the small muscle twitching at her uncle’s temple. ‘Do you mean you … you couldn’t find him, or …’

‘No,’ Inga said, holding out the letter as if it was her own death warrant. ‘No, we actually mean he’sgone. Read it.’

The seal was already broken.

Thysandra took the letter from the girl’s hands as if it might grow teeth and bite.

Your Majesty,it started, in that small, tidy hand she’d learned to recognise by now.

I sincerely hope you survive to read this letter. The news of your poisoning just reached me, and I knew then that I would not be able to stay at your court any longer.

The leak of your housing plans was – unintentionally – my fault. Since I know I can be scatter-brained, I took extensive notes of our meeting for later reference. Only after the uproar at the archives did I realise they were missing from my office. Someone must have stolen them and spread the news on my behalf. I should have told you then and did not dare to, resolving to keep a better eye on my notes instead.

To my dismay, however, it seems I have somehow mislaid my summary of your agreement with the Alliance, too. I cannot find it in my office or my living quarters, the only safe places to keep such information. I can only conclude it was seen by unfriendly eyes in whatever place it ended up and is therefore responsible for this second attempt on your life as well.

I would rather go into voluntary banishment than wait for your retribution. I’m sorry. If you decide to send your army after me, I understand; I can only plead for mercy and ask that you consider my departure enough of a penance in itself.

With gratitude,

Gadyon

She had to read the letter twice.

The second time was worse.

So she had her culprit after all – the head of her archives, who may have bargained to obey her orders but had still been able toforgetdespite his earnest intention not to. He had lied to her. He could have killed her twice over. He’d fled rather than face the consequences.

She ought to be furious.

And instead all she felt was … shame?Regret?

She’dlikedher kind, earnest, occasionally harebrained head of the archives – a sentiment that had no business intervening with her sensible politics but did so all the same. Who cared if he’d been an obstacle? Who cared if he could have been the death of her? He’d smuggled food into the humans’ hands when they were starving – surely she couldhave found a way to keep him alive without losing face to the rest of the court?

And he hadn’t dared to believe that.

He’d expected her to maim, torture, kill. Like the Mother would have done.

Was that what she seemed to be even to her closest allies – just another ruthless, unforgiving tyrant?

‘Thysandra?’ Nicanor was saying, and only then did she realise she hadn’t lifted her eyes from those damning scribbled lines for minutes on end. ‘Mind if I take a look at that?’

She handed him the letter, numbly.

He cursed as he scanned it. Silas was still looking at her with that same, stone-hewn expression on his face – attempting, it seemed, to see straight through the shield of her confusion.

‘I …’ She wasn’t sure why she felt she had to justify herself, and yet the shame wouldn’t go – the knowledge thatothershad read that earnest plea, thatothersknew exactly in what light Gadyon had seen her. It should have been a triumph, knowing she at least had managed to be frightening to someone at this entire bloody court, and instead, it was the greatest humiliation of all. ‘I wouldn’t have killed him.’

No one moved around her.