Page 66
As our stares held, I felt an odd sort of kinship with her. Something moved between us, like the interwoven strands of fate connected our destinies.
“The two of you lived side by side for ten lives, existing in these tunnels, and you were the best of friends,” Imelda said, studying the way we stared at one another.
I turned back to face them, watching with a furrowed brow as Imelda stepped forward and touched her hand to my shoulder. “This was your home,” she repeated, confirming the thoughts in my head. “For most of your lives, anyway. I don’t know where or who you’ve been since Brander took you from us, but I knew you then.”
“I don’t know what to do with all of this,” I said, rubbing a hand over the new moon burned into my skin. “Who am I?”
My gaze met Caelum’s gaze, his blue eyes softening as he reached down and cupped my cheek. I couldn't imagine he wanted to even look at me ever again—given what I could be.
What we probably both suspected me to be.
“We’ll figure it out. Together,” he said, and I leaned forward to rest my forehead against his chest, letting him comfort me for just a moment before we moved on to the next phase in our lives. Before we continued on our journey to Alfheimr, all while suspecting that I was the very person he needed to return to Mab.
My step-brother.
I shuddered.
Fucking Gods.
26
CALDRIS
Even sitting beside me, it felt as if there were oceans separating us. Estrella had been quiet since Imelda had revealed that my mate was one of the two children hidden by the lunar witches.
Holt and I had suspected that Estrella might be the daughter of Mab since that night in Black Water when she’d first summoned the darkness and extinguished the flames of hatred. The knowledge that there was just as much of a chance that she was the lost Princess of the Shadow Court as there was that she might be something else…I didn’t know how to feel about it.
It would make her the daughter of my greatest enemy, and the stepsister I’d never wanted. What was I supposed to do with that knowledge?
I wished I could reach over to her, pull her into my embrace and not feel the bitter void that lingered between us. If she was Mab’s daughter, I would have to return her to the Shadow Court. Our only hope of salvation would come in her acceptance of our bond, in making me strong enough to defy the Queen of Air and Darkness herself.
But would Estrella still accept me? Even suspecting the new chasm that would threaten to keep us apart?
“Do you hate me?” Estrella whispered, her voice too low for the rest of the Wild Hunt to hear. We lingered around the fire, huddled close atop the blanket we’d claimed for ourselves as a few of the others set up the tent for us to sleep in.
“Why would I hate you, min asteren?” I asked, turning to look down at her. My voice sounded harsher than I wanted it to, my emotions clogging my throat. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her; not when we’d come so far.
I wouldn’t allow Mab to take her from me, too.
“Because I’m her daughter,” she said, scoffing as she flopped back against the blanket. She stared at the stars above, moisture gathering in her eyes as her bottom lip trembled briefly. “I spoke to Fallon earlier today. She said she’s shown no signs of magic at all.”
“That does not mean she doesn’t have any,” I reminded her. Only a few days prior, Estrella herself had never exhibited any signs of magic outside of theViniculumthat marked her as mine.
Estrella turned her head to the side, tearing her eyes off the moonlit sky to finally meet mine. “It doesn’t, but am I really supposed to believe it is a mere coincidence I manifested a vision of a snake when Mab herself wrapped serpents around your heart to control you?”
“There could be any number of reasons—”
“Cut the bullshit,” Estrella snapped, turning her glare away from me once again. “We both know what I am. It’s why even now sitting beside me, you’ve not moved to touch me. You’re keeping your distance because you’re disgusted to think your mate is the daughter of that vile woman. You thought you knew me so well, and yet here I am! The spawn of the greatest evil Faerie has ever known.”
“Even if you are her child, you are not like her. You were not raised by her in any of your lives, and you’ve had centuries of history to form you into a woman who cares more about being kind and fair than anyone I’ve ever known,” I said, lying down beside her. My pinky finger brushed against hers, reminding me far too much of that first day I’d laid eyes upon her in the barn when she’d been hiding for the night. “There is a gentleness in you that has not existed inside Mab for countless centuries, if it ever did at all. That is not something that can come from your lineage.”
“And what of everything else that is inside of me? What about the thirst for blood and revenge? What of my desire to see all those who underestimated me kneeling before me? Is that the part of me that iskind?” Estrella asked, her green eyes meeting mine. The twinkle of stars shone from behind the moss color of her irises, the edges bleeding to the purple of a night sky that bordered on black. “Or is the part of me that suspects the world would be so peaceful if there were no people to taint it and it returned to the nothing from whence it came?”
“Those parts of you do not come from Mab, Little One,” I said, my eyes going soft as I studied her. She was so determined to hate herself, and to bear the weight of her need to be liked by everyone around her. “They come from me. They are all the worst parts of me that you provide balance to.”
“How do you bear it?” she asked, her voice nothing but a low murmur.
“Bear what?” I asked, knowing she could be speaking of a great many things. Knowing Estrella for her own self-hatred, I suspected she would say something along the lines of a question of how I could stand to look at her.
“The two of you lived side by side for ten lives, existing in these tunnels, and you were the best of friends,” Imelda said, studying the way we stared at one another.
I turned back to face them, watching with a furrowed brow as Imelda stepped forward and touched her hand to my shoulder. “This was your home,” she repeated, confirming the thoughts in my head. “For most of your lives, anyway. I don’t know where or who you’ve been since Brander took you from us, but I knew you then.”
“I don’t know what to do with all of this,” I said, rubbing a hand over the new moon burned into my skin. “Who am I?”
My gaze met Caelum’s gaze, his blue eyes softening as he reached down and cupped my cheek. I couldn't imagine he wanted to even look at me ever again—given what I could be.
What we probably both suspected me to be.
“We’ll figure it out. Together,” he said, and I leaned forward to rest my forehead against his chest, letting him comfort me for just a moment before we moved on to the next phase in our lives. Before we continued on our journey to Alfheimr, all while suspecting that I was the very person he needed to return to Mab.
My step-brother.
I shuddered.
Fucking Gods.
26
CALDRIS
Even sitting beside me, it felt as if there were oceans separating us. Estrella had been quiet since Imelda had revealed that my mate was one of the two children hidden by the lunar witches.
Holt and I had suspected that Estrella might be the daughter of Mab since that night in Black Water when she’d first summoned the darkness and extinguished the flames of hatred. The knowledge that there was just as much of a chance that she was the lost Princess of the Shadow Court as there was that she might be something else…I didn’t know how to feel about it.
It would make her the daughter of my greatest enemy, and the stepsister I’d never wanted. What was I supposed to do with that knowledge?
I wished I could reach over to her, pull her into my embrace and not feel the bitter void that lingered between us. If she was Mab’s daughter, I would have to return her to the Shadow Court. Our only hope of salvation would come in her acceptance of our bond, in making me strong enough to defy the Queen of Air and Darkness herself.
But would Estrella still accept me? Even suspecting the new chasm that would threaten to keep us apart?
“Do you hate me?” Estrella whispered, her voice too low for the rest of the Wild Hunt to hear. We lingered around the fire, huddled close atop the blanket we’d claimed for ourselves as a few of the others set up the tent for us to sleep in.
“Why would I hate you, min asteren?” I asked, turning to look down at her. My voice sounded harsher than I wanted it to, my emotions clogging my throat. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her; not when we’d come so far.
I wouldn’t allow Mab to take her from me, too.
“Because I’m her daughter,” she said, scoffing as she flopped back against the blanket. She stared at the stars above, moisture gathering in her eyes as her bottom lip trembled briefly. “I spoke to Fallon earlier today. She said she’s shown no signs of magic at all.”
“That does not mean she doesn’t have any,” I reminded her. Only a few days prior, Estrella herself had never exhibited any signs of magic outside of theViniculumthat marked her as mine.
Estrella turned her head to the side, tearing her eyes off the moonlit sky to finally meet mine. “It doesn’t, but am I really supposed to believe it is a mere coincidence I manifested a vision of a snake when Mab herself wrapped serpents around your heart to control you?”
“There could be any number of reasons—”
“Cut the bullshit,” Estrella snapped, turning her glare away from me once again. “We both know what I am. It’s why even now sitting beside me, you’ve not moved to touch me. You’re keeping your distance because you’re disgusted to think your mate is the daughter of that vile woman. You thought you knew me so well, and yet here I am! The spawn of the greatest evil Faerie has ever known.”
“Even if you are her child, you are not like her. You were not raised by her in any of your lives, and you’ve had centuries of history to form you into a woman who cares more about being kind and fair than anyone I’ve ever known,” I said, lying down beside her. My pinky finger brushed against hers, reminding me far too much of that first day I’d laid eyes upon her in the barn when she’d been hiding for the night. “There is a gentleness in you that has not existed inside Mab for countless centuries, if it ever did at all. That is not something that can come from your lineage.”
“And what of everything else that is inside of me? What about the thirst for blood and revenge? What of my desire to see all those who underestimated me kneeling before me? Is that the part of me that iskind?” Estrella asked, her green eyes meeting mine. The twinkle of stars shone from behind the moss color of her irises, the edges bleeding to the purple of a night sky that bordered on black. “Or is the part of me that suspects the world would be so peaceful if there were no people to taint it and it returned to the nothing from whence it came?”
“Those parts of you do not come from Mab, Little One,” I said, my eyes going soft as I studied her. She was so determined to hate herself, and to bear the weight of her need to be liked by everyone around her. “They come from me. They are all the worst parts of me that you provide balance to.”
“How do you bear it?” she asked, her voice nothing but a low murmur.
“Bear what?” I asked, knowing she could be speaking of a great many things. Knowing Estrella for her own self-hatred, I suspected she would say something along the lines of a question of how I could stand to look at her.
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