Page 47

First of all,ew. Second of all,just no.

“Not today,” he said with a chuckle. I glanced up at him, finding amused blue eyes gleaming down at me, the darkness from before faded from his brow. “We’ll need a bath and special oils when that day comes.”

He moved through me more slowly, covering my weight with his as he reached forward and wrapped my braid around his hand, using it to pull my head back so that he could nip at my shoulder. “Would you fucking come already?” I asked, hating the second orgasm that was building within me. He would be the death of me.

He chuckled, pulling free from me entirely. My body mourned the loss of his skin against mine as he knelt in front of me. “Then give me your mouth,min asteren. I want to paint it with my cum.”

I flushed as I sat up, crawling to my knees in front of him as he rose to his feet. His cock dangled in front of my face, angry-looking and throbbing with purple veins as I wrapped my fingers around him and stroked him from root to tip. I shifted my gaze up to his face as he let out a ragged groan.

I’d experimented with taking him in my mouth the night before, running my tongue over and exploring his cock the way he did my pussy. He’d lost control long before he’d finished, tossing me down on the bed and fucking me until I felt as if I couldn’t breathe.

I leaned forward, dragging my tongue along the underside of his shaft. He groaned, grasping me by the braid and guiding my head the way he wanted. There was no time to explore the way I had the night before, only time to let him thrust into the heat of my mouth. His harsh breaths seemed to echo over the plain and he struck against the back of my throat.

“Swallow around me,” he instructed, pulling back and pressing deep once more. I tried and failed, gagging as I tried to understand how I was meant to function.

How I was meant to breathe.

He thrust forward, keeping the pressure at the back of my throat as I swallowed andfinallymanaged to take him into the haven of my throat. I couldn’t breathe around him, feeling him slide as deep as the angle of his cock would allow. He stared down at me as if I’d hung the moon in the sky, touching a taloned finger to my cheek and wiping away the tear that fell as he made slow, small movements within me.

He pulled free, giving me a moment to suck back deep lungfuls of air before he made shallow thrusts, gliding the head over my tongue. “Again,” he instructed, pushing forward. I swallowed, relaxing around him as he slid within me all over again.

As uncomfortable as it was, I watched his face. I watched the way he came undone with his cock in my throat, and knowing I was able to give him that brought me comfort. His hand pressed against the front of my neck as he thrust once more, feeling his cock move against it, consuming him.

He pulled back as he roared, holding me by the throat while his cock twitched in my mouth. Thick, warm fluid coated my tongue, covering it in his orgasm. His hand tightened as his eyes drifted closed, his body relaxing. I wanted to swallow him down, to get the evidence of his pleasure out of my mouth. The flavor wasn’t something I would ever particularly enjoy.

“Show me,” he ordered when he opened his eyes once more.

I opened my mouth, sticking out my tongue so that he could see it covered in his seed. “That’s my good girl,” he said, releasing my throat finally. I closed my mouth, swallowing as his dark eyes gleamed with approval.

The words of encouragement shouldn’t have meant so much to me, and yet my body hummed with warmth. I was so far gone for the Fae male who claimed ownership of my soul; it was a sin.

He cupped my jaw in his palm, running his thumb over the skin with a gentleness that took my breath away. “Thank you,” he murmured, his eyes soft.

“For what?” I asked, my voice coming out breathy.

“For accepting the darkest parts of me—the ugly ones—even if you can’t give me those words yet,” he said, and the way his brow furrowed nearly broke my heart. I knew what it was to be out of control. To feel like a monster waited to take control of my body.

I’d do whatever it took to bring him back from that brink. “Always.”

17

ESTRELLA

Icouldn’t quite find my way to sleep that night. The memory of Holt’s body sprawled on the ground, bleeding out on the snow and waiting to come back to life by the time Caldris and I returned from our tryst in the snow-covered plains, haunted me.

Not because I cared about Holt; as much as I appreciated the book he’d given me, I still struggled with the knowledge that he was my enemy. He’d been part of the threat that had terrified me as I’d run through the woods with my brother at my side. There was no escaping the life I’d lived and the things I’d been raised to believe. I couldn’t change them overnight, but I could feel the shift coming on slowly.

If I could find a way to forgive Caldris for what he’d done, did I really have any place to not forgive the males who owed me nothing? The ones who’d never lied or hidden what they were.

But no, what kept me awake in the night was the memory of the carnage Caldris had caused in his blind rage. He’d torn through several members of the Wild Hunt, spraying their blood across the land in a way that terrified the Fae Marked.

He’d left them alone in favor of pursuing me, but the stark reminder of what he was and the damage he could inflict made me swallow a ball of nerves in my throat.Thatwas what had found me in the woods. Thatwas who I’d allowed to sink inside of me and claim me as his to bring him back from the brink of bloodlust.

Aramis’s confession of what Mab had done to Caldris’s father also hung over me, leaving me with more questions than answers. He slept peacefully behind me, cradling me in his arms in our tent for warmth. I wished I could just ask him the questions I had about his past, but if the memory of his father’s death was so traumatic that it resulted in a rage like this, I wasn’t certain it would be wise to ask.

I pulled slowly away from his arms, shoving my feet into my boots and moving to the opening of our tent. I worked slowly to untie the strings, moving as quietly as I could so I wouldn’t disturb Caldris. Given the exhausting events of the day, I had a feeling even the God needed his rest.

But my restlessness drove me to the book Holt had given me, safely tucked in the saddlebags near Azra. I’d go read by the fire until I became tired enough to return to bed.