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Holt glared at Caldris, turning on his heel and making his way back to the caves. “Holt?” I asked, making him pause in his steps. He turned to look over his shoulder, his glare cast on the ground rather than meeting my pointed stare. “Do try to remember that only one death separates you from taking orders from me.”

He spoke not a word, turning to face forward and walking into the caves. “Easy, min asteren,” Caldris said with a chuckle. His touch settled on my shoulder, calming the inferno senselessly raging inside of me.

“Did your glamour protect me from the more unpredictable aspects of what it is to be Fae?” I asked, spinning to pin him with a glare. My emotions were too intense, leaving me with the unsettling feeling that I wasn’t in command of them anymore. They would break me and consume me, tearing me apart from the inside and leaving me only a piece of who I’d been before.

“Somewhat, but not to the level that would cause strong surges like you’re having. The Fae are volatile, but not in this way. I suspect this has more to do with what our bond has awakened that already lived inside of you,” he said, and the bond pinched, as if he was keeping that label from me. I had the distinct impression that I could find it if I really pushed, but given the way I’d been behaving…I didn’t think I wanted to know just yet.

That felt strange. Like there was something wrong with me for willingly living in ignorance when it came to my own heritage and the monster that lurked beneath my skin.

“I don’t suppose you’re ready to tell me your thoughts on that matter?” I asked, my gaze softening as I studied him.

The adoration he showed as he raised a single palm to cup my face, capturing my cheek in its strong embrace, nearly took my breath away. “Are you ready to hear them, Little One?” he asked, his brow hitching up ever-so-slightly. He knew the answer, knew the hesitance that rattled around inside my head as I tried to process my own willful ignorance.

“I can’t exactly make that decision without knowing what it is you would tell me,” I said, causing a sharp bark of laughter to escape Caldris as he released my cheek and placed his hand on the small of my back. He guided me forward, inching me toward the cave entrance as my breath came in deep, shuddering gasps.

I couldfeelthe warding, feel the magic Imelda had used to protect the tunnels from prying Fae eyes. It felt like a snap, a rope splitting in two as we stepped across it finally and moved into the protected bubble it had created inside. The noise of the woods outside faded away, leaving me with the distinct impression that we were in another world entirely.

“Is there any information I could provide that you would find acceptable?” he asked as we stepped inside the cave tunnel. The corridor opened up ahead of us, helping us to navigate our way toward the passage with the hole in the floor.

To the home of the Resistance.

All was quiet as we approached it, like the calm before the storm. But it wasn’t terror of the cave beasts that struck fear into my chest this time, or fearing that they might be waiting around the corner to strike.

It was the humans who waited within.

“Probably not,” I sighed, stopping to stare down into the hole that would take me to the base. That would take me to the baths where Caelum had fucked me for all those people to see, where he and I had slept in our little shared room, and I’d been entirely oblivious about the predator in my bed.

“The members of the Resistance are already in their rooms for the night so that we can all use the kitchen and bathing chamber in peace before we have to deal with the turmoil that will come tomorrow,” Caldris said, nudging me forward. “You don’t need to worry about an altercation just yet.”

I nodded, dropping my body into the hole. I landed on the balls of my feet, crouching down to place a hand on the stone. Caldris followed behind me, leading me through the winding tunnel until we emerged into the cavern that was usually bustling with life.

Like the shadow of a memory, I saw a flash of Imelda leaning over the table, her white eye gleaming against her dark skin and the glowing white crescent moon on her forehead shining in the dim lighting.

I turned to the side, catching a flash of movement—a head of dark hair and golden skin disappearing into one of the tunnels. I furrowed my brow, turning toward the tunnel and looking down the void.

There was nothing to be found.

But I’d have sworn…

I shook it off as Caldris snagged my chin, looking down at me in concern. My mind lay in tattered strips, as if I couldn’t differentiate reality from memory. From the torment of the family I’d left behind, come to haunt me until my dying days. “Did you see that?” I asked, turning a shocked stare up to my mate.

He shook his head softly, his brow tensing with concern. As if he could feel the shadows of madness scratching at the edges of my mind, he guided me toward the kitchen. “Food will help,” he said, but even he had to know he wasn’t convincing anyone with those words.

Food couldn’t help the inability to tell the past from the present, or the threat of the future hovering just out of reach, as if I could grasp if I would just reach out.

I wouldn’t.

23

ESTRELLA

As it turned out, food couldn’t help the games my sanity seemed to want to play, but it didn’t hurt, either. With my belly finally full and hunger sated with fresh stew and bread, I allowed Caldris to lead me up and out of the tunnels, to the hot spring above the surface where he’d first touched me, and where I had no doubt he intended to do it again.

I didn’t have the energy to try to convince myself I didn’t want that. Something feral within me wanted to bathe in his scent until I had the comfort of knowing if I had to face the hatred of the people I’d wanted to join, I would do it with him all over me. With his presence to support me through the confrontation.

Was I…really hoping to have the smell of sex with him on me?

I swallowed. I didn’t know what that urge was and where it had come from, but it was decidedlynothuman. “What was that thought?” Caldris asked as we approached the upper level of the tunnels. He held a torch in his hand, depositing it into the holder near the entrance. Outside, steam drifted off the hot spring, engulfing the area in a warmth that nowhere else had this time of year.