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Silas snorts out a laugh, and I cut my eyes at him. He holds his hands up in surrender, so I continue.

“Gail, being Gail, showed up and told me to read a book that Aspen had recommended to her. Some second chance romance bullshit. At first, I was against the idea because, what is some book going to tell me? But Aspen had clarified that the only way that I could be in the store was if I was quiet and sat in the corner. So, I did the only thing that made sense and read the book.”

“Smart.” Silas nods his head.

“It quickly made sense why Gail recommended it. It was about a football player and this quiet girl. He fucked up, she rejected him, and he earned his way back into her heart.”

Silas slides a hand over his mouth to quiet the laughing I can still hear. I stop my pacing to fully glare at him. There isn’t anything funny about this.

“Continue,” he says as he tries to quit laughing.

“So after finishing the book, I panicked because I needed a reason to keep being in the bookstore. I did the only thing I could think of and asked Aspen for a book recommendation. She told me she doesn’t loan books, but that I could buy them from her. What else could I do? I bought the book.”

“And…?” he asks.

“I found a hobby that I enjoy. All this time, I would see her reading all those books and wonder what could possibly be so amazing about it that she could read book after book. It wasn’tuntil this fantasy series that I realized following a person as they battle for their lives and overcome major challenges is enrapturing, really. Look, I even used a big word that I learned from the books.”

Silas can’t help but burst out laughing now and I don’t blame him. We laugh together for a few moments before it finally dies down.

“So, what went wrong then?” he asks.

“After weeks of bringing her coffee, reading in the bookstore, and walking her home at night, I finally convinced her to let me take her to dinner. She decided that it wasn’t a date and would meet me there. I arrived early because I wanted to ensure we had a table in the back, away from so many prying eyes. While I was waiting for Aspen to arrive, Selene walked over. She wanted to show me the pictures she has been taking of the pack.”

“Oh, no,” Silas says.

I nod my head solemnly. “She had slid into the booth next to me so I could see the photos on her phone. I was smiling because of her excitement and the really great shots she got of all of us. That’s when Aspen walked in. She saw me smiling at Selene while Selene was pressed up against me in the booth. I didn’t even have a chance to stop her or tell her it wasn’t what it seemed.”

“Fuck... What happened next?”

“I showed up the next day to the bookstore hoping that I could have a chance to explain, but Chase blocked my path. He said some things that hurt, but, honestly, it made me think about it from a different perspective. All this time, I’ve only ever caredabout myself. I deserve for her to reject me for good, maybe find someone like Chase, who will do right by her.”

“Damn, I’ve been trying to get you to see that for years. What did he say that made it click?”

“He said that if he was her mate, he could never dream of doing the things that I’ve done to her. Let alone have the nerve to pretend I didn’t.”

“That’ll do it. How long ago was that?”

“Three months before the baby shower. I decided after that to work on myself. I could never be the perfect mate for her if I didn’t take care of myself first. Gail and I did come up with a plan to be my over the top gesture, though. I’ve been working on it ever since and it should be ready soon.”

“And that is..?” he prompts me.

“Can’t tell you. I swore the two people involved to secrecy. I don’t want it to get back to her before I’m ready.”

His hand slams to his chest. “You don’t trust me to keep it a secret?”

Laughing, I say, “I trust you, but you never know who is listening in the woods.”

“Fair enough. I do have to say I’m proud of you, man. You are making the right moves to earn her back, but I still think you need to take some time to process the death of your parents. It won’t change anything when it comes to them, but what if that’s what’s holding you back from being the best mate you can be for Aspen?”

I turn to start our walk through the woods again. The sun is peeking through the leaves above the canopy of the trees.The cool spring breeze is wafting through as the scent of fresh flowers blows past. As we walk side by side down the worn path, the pine needles crunch under our boots.

I glance over at Silas, who is already watching me. “You’re right. It won’t change anything and maybe it is what is holding me back. I’m going to say something that I’ve never said aloud to anyone, not even you.”

There is a bird's song breaking through the silence as Silas waits for me to speak. It feels as though the forest is waiting for me to say it, too.

“I’ve never felt as though I deserved love. I’ve seen how people have used me for their own gain. I watched how my parents sacrificed so much for my success. What did it get me? Nothing. Why should I have someone who loves me when the two people who loved me the most can’t be here to see it because of me?”

The words flow out of me and are carried off in the breeze as I wait for him to say something, anything. We keep walking for a moment, with only the bird chirps to be heard. I almost don’t think he is going to say anything until he finally does.