Page 36

“Not fair, Chase. You know how ticklish I am. Just like you also know, I hate hiking.”

He holds his hands up in surrender. “I do. But I also know that you have either been in your house or in your bookstore, hiding from the world since you caught Warrick. Come on, you know that after you get through your tantrum that you will have a good time out here.”

Why does he have to know me so well?It’s actually unfair because I have no counter argument with him. I just want to lie on my couch with my fuzzy blanket and a book, but I know I’ll feel better after getting out in nature.Is that really that bad?

“We don’t have much further till we get to our stopping point today.” He waves his hand in a come-on motion as he turns to walk up the incline.

Tall cedar trees line the path’s right side, forming a canopy that blocks most of the sun. The dirt path beneath our feet is littered with rocks of all different sizes and grooves cut into it where the rain formed a trail as it went down the mountain. The left side is the drop to the bottom of the mountain, but if you look beyond it, the view is breathtaking. Greenery as far as the eye can see, with mountains of all varying sizes dotting the horizon. The blue sky fades to white, creating a mental image that is prize worthy. Clicking the camera icon on my phone, I snap a few photos of it. I’m not a photographer by any means, but the beauty of it is hard to pass up.

“You coming?” Chase yells back to me from where he stopped further up the trail.

Pocketing my phone, I scurry to catch up to where he has stopped. The smile on his face would melt snow in the dead of winter. The bright, warm smile has always invited me in and it’s something I’ve always loved about him.

We walk in companionable silence listening to the leaves rustle in the wind, birds chirping back and forth, and enjoy the silence of nature. I can’t keep my mind from wandering as we walk.Did I overreact when I saw Warrick with Selene? I mean, she is only seventeen years old. Is he really dating someone that young or fooling around with her?

She came to see me not long after that all happened, swearing to me it wasn’t what it looked like. She showed me the same photos that she was showing him and explained that she wants to be a photographer when she grows up. Her serenity wasclear when she told me all about him finding her taking photos on his walking path. The conversation he had with her about pursuing it as a career. How because of him, she finally told her parents about her passion. Now that I feel like a complete ass for assuming the absolute worst about her, it showed me I still have unresolved feelings about what happened over the years. Until we discuss those, I don’t think there really is a chance for Warrick and I to be together. I think I will always fear that one day, he will slip up again, and I’ll find my heart shattered into a million pieces.

Chase veers off the path to the left, where the alcove between the trees opens up. It’s been our favorite spot for years now because of the breathtaking views that it offers. Who could pass up on the opportunity to dangle their feet over the edge of a mountain while watching the sun move across the clear, blue sky?

He pulls his backpack off and pulls out our blanket to sit on. Flicking it open, he gently places it close to the edge. After I get over the initial freak out of sitting this close to the edge, we move closer a little at a time, until we sit on the edge of the drop. It’s best not to look directly down at the sheer fall that you would face if anything went wrong.

Since we are both creatures of the mountains, we love being outdoors, but with Chase being a mountain lion, he loves the thrill of living, or, in this case, sitting on the edge of the cliff. Me, on the other hand, as a wolf, I like being in the forest enjoying the cool breeze that blows through them.

I pull out our thermos and pour each of us a cup of coffee as he pulls out the mini lunch box he packed with our morning snack. He really is the perfect boyfriend with all the snacks he pulls out. He even brought me a bag of only the red Skittles because heknows those are my favorite. I imagine him sitting at his table separating out all the reds into that small snack-size plastic bag. A snort comes out of me at the thought of him bent over the table, grabbing each red Skittle with his massive hands to drop them into the bag.

Glancing up at me with an amused look on his face, he says, “Something funny?”

“Just thinking about you hunched over your dining table separating out the red Skittles one by one. The visual is quite hilarious.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know it's more that I eat the other ones while ensuring to leave all the red ones for you.”

Giggling, I say, “You really are an amazing guy, Chase, your mates will be so lucky to have you.”

I just wish that Warrick could be as caring and as attentive as Chase has been all this time. Is it too much to ask that my mate would do even the simplest thing, like remember that I love the red Skittles and that I love to tuck my cold toes under his thigh to keep them warm? To run me a hot bath after delivery days because my muscles are sore from unloading all the boxes?

I’ve never been first in anyone’s book, not even with Willow and Hazel. Yes, they both love me, but they are each other’s soul matches. While I never question their friendship with me, I know I wasn’t their first choice. To find out that your mate is not only here, but also doesn’t choose you first? I don’t think I can ever move past that. Glancing at Chase, I find that he is already watching me with a look of concern on his face.

“A cookie for your thoughts?” He holds out an oatmeal raisin cookie.

This! The cookie is another reason why I believe he is the perfect guy. He always makes sure to have them with him on our hikes. Not exactly the best food for hiking, but it just reinforces how much he knows me.

It’s warm from being in his backpack. “I’ve just been thinking about how I wish Warrick knew as much about me as you do. To remember things like my favorite cookie or that I only like to eat the red Skittles. I know he was trying to reach me through reading, which is great, but there is more to me than those books. Sometimes I feel like he is more into theideaof the mating than he is into me. Does that make sense?”

His eyes fill with pity, which is why I don’t talk about this with anyone. I don’t want pity or for people to feel bad about me. I know I was dealt a more challenging case when it comes to fate, but I don’t need pity. What I really need is validation of my feelings. “Don’t pity me, Chase. You know I don’t like that.”

“I don’t pity you. I felt sorry for you because I believe you should be loved and cared for the right way, but that doesn’t mean I pity you. You have every right to want Warrick to know things about you and want you for you. It’s perfectly okay to demand those things and make sure he is here for the right reasons.”

“You know, I think that something happened to him and he has never talked about it. I get that when we were kids that he cheated, but to reject the mating all this time and to throw women in my face over and over? Is he doing that to punish me or himself? The Warrick I knew would never hurt someone on purpose. He might not seem like it, but he does have a big heart buried deep under all the flashy muscles and deflective behavior.”

I look down into my cup of coffee and watch a bubble swirl around the cup. I haven’t voiced that thought aloud to anyone. I’m not sure why I am now, other than Chase has always made me feel as though I can voice all my thoughts, regardless of if they are absurd or not.

He hums for a moment before speaking. “I think you might be onto something. Didn’t he lose his parents during a football game or something like that? That was after you caught him cheating under the bleachers, if I remember correctly.”

My mouth drops open. I didn’t think about that. I don’t know if that is what caused it, but he might be onto something. The cheating when we were teens was just a horny teenage boy with all the popularity to boot. But everything since then? It does come off more as someone trying to keep people at a distance than someone who just can’t keep his hands to himself. There is so much I really don’t know about Warrick, a lot of things that I’ve made assumptions about, and what’s worse is I’ve never tried to look closer. All this time I’ve left him to his own devices without considering the why or pushing for him to tell me what’s wrong. Maybe he isn’t the only one who needs to work on themselves? How can I harp on him for not being a good mate to me, while I left him in his pain without a second thought?

“You might be onto something there. But I can’t make him open up to me.”

Chase reaches across the blanket and pulls my hand into his. With his thumb brushing over my knuckles back and forth, he says, “No, but you can show him that he can’t push you away like he does everyone else. Maybe show him that he means something to you and he will, in turn, see that he doesn’t have to keep deflecting.”