Page 58
Story: Until the Ribbon Breaks
Why can’t I feel her words? I hear them, and they should bring me so much joy, but I can’tfeelthem. It’s as if I’m being punished for some sin I don’t remember committing and am being held hostage from any semblance of happiness.
“But you sent me here when I begged you not to.”
“I was scared,” she stresses. “The things in that notebook terrified me. You can’t imagine the fear a mother feels when her child is in danger.”
“But Iwasn’tin danger.”
She looks down at my wrist as if to punctuate her point, and I pull my hand out of hers “This is different.”
“I can’t risk losing you, but I’m not equipped to help you.”
“You didn’t even try talking to me. You just threw me away.”
“No, honey. That wasn’t it at all.”
“But it was. Everyone made this decision behind my back. You blindsided me.”
“If I could interject,” Dr. Amberg says and then waits until we turn our attention to him. “Both of you have suffered a lot of trauma. Harlow, your mother and I have talked about the effects your first attempt has had on her. That event was frightening and, as a result, she’s easily triggered and errs on the side of caution.”
“It’s my job to protect you.”
“Then why does it feel like you’re just protecting yourself?”
“Protectingmyself?”
“From Dad. From him finding out about your affair.”
Nervously, she glances at Dr. Amberg before coming back to me. “Harlow, do you really think that I would commit you to a psychiatric treatment center to keep you quiet?” She enunciates every syllable of every word, shocked that I could make such an accusation, but that’s exactly how it felt. “You are—” She chokes up and takes my hand back in hers before continuing. “You are the love of my life. Everything else in this world comes second to my children.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep my chin from quivering, but I can’t hold on when I blurt, “Then why are you cheating on Dad, knowing that it’s going to rip us all apart?”
Dropping her head, she begins crying again.
“Why would you do that to us?”
“I’m not perfect.” She looks at me with streams running down her face. “I messed up.”
“Does he know? Have you told him?”
“Yes. He knows.”
I suck in a fearful breath, wondering how all of this has played out at home. “Is he gone?”
Shaking her head, she tells me, “No. He’s still home.”
“Are you getting a divorce?”
“It isn’t what either of us want, so we are doing what we can to repair the damage I’ve done to us—to all of us.”
A huge sense of relief sweeps through me.
“But right now, you are our main priority. Getting you healthy enough to come home.
She washes away in a swirl of colors as my eyes flood and spill over.
“That’s everyone’s goal here,” Dr. Amberg says. “Our hands are being held out, Harlow, but it’s up to you to grab them and allow us to help you.”
“What if I’m beyond help?”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58 (Reading here)
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149