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I stare lazily into her eyes, which boast nothing but her disappointment in me. I should break up with her, but with so much lacking in my life, it’s hard to walk away from the one person who loves me, so I stay when I know I shouldn’t because I don’t share her feelings.

I’m not sure I even know what love is.

What she cares for is only an illusion. She thinks she knows me, but she doesn’t. I lie to her, more so than all the others, to protect my reputation. For our whole relationship, I’ve been feeding her fabrications. Hell, the girl doesn’t even know where I live because the last thing I need is for her to pop by and see the disgrace. To her and everyone else, I have the perfect life. In reality, it’s in shambles.

It’s so much easier to live in people’s false perceptions, so that’s what I do.

Kassi runs her hand up my calf and gives a soft squeeze as she smiles. She wants my attention, but I can’t do more than stare down at her with a sloppy grin that causes her expression to drop.

“How much have you had to drink?”

I shrug.

“You promised,” she whispers so no one around us hears.

“Sorry.” Even though I did promise her earlier that I wouldn’t get drunk tonight, here I am, completely hammered. Reaching down, I tug her to sit in my lap, saying, “Come here,” but she pulls back.

“Just stop.”

She stands and walks away, and when I get out of the chair to follow her, my head spins, causing me to stumble and fall, nearly landing in the fire.

“Shit, man.”

I lift my head from the sand to see Brent standing above me laughing. He offers me his hand and helps me to my feet.

“What did you say to Kassi?”

Looking over his shoulder, I see she’s crying and talking to Emily.

I sigh and head over. “Kass, don’t cry.” I pull her into my arms, but she keeps hers folded across her chest.

When Emily walks back to Brent, Kassi shrugs me off.

“Babe, don’t make this a big deal.”

“Why do you always do this? I have every right to be pissed,” she snaps. “And itisa big deal.”

“Everyone here is drinking.” My defense is weak.

“They’re drinking, but they are not wasted. Look at you! You can hardly stand.”

“Then chill and let me go sit back down.”

Her eyes narrow. She’s fuming mad.

“Baby, I’m kidding.” I try to soothe her anger with a lopsided grin. “Come on. Don’t ruin a good night.”

“I didn’t ruin anything. You did. You always do.” She turns toward the water and takes a few steps away, pauses, and then turns around. “Do you even love me?”

“Didn’t I show you earlier today how much I love you?”

Her mouth falls open in disbelief. “Are you kidding me right now?”

“Can we talk about this tomorrow when I can think straight?”

“You always do this,” she complains. “You always want to talk later, but it never happens and nothing ever gets solved.”

In the corner of my vision, the moon swirls lazily in the sky, throwing my equilibrium off and causing me to sway before I regain my steadiness.