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On Thursday she showed up with a pair of black slacks and a button-up shirt and her hair in a low bun and she looked so damn good that I almost canceled on my parents again.

Mom had made lasagna and gave James just as big a hug as she gave to me when I introduced her again. Dad poured her a drink and they both waited for me to give them an explanation as to why I’d brought James with me. She bumped my shoulder with hers in support. I could do this. Taking a breath, I looked at my parents.

“So. Um. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and exploring since my breakup, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t think I’m straight and James and I are seeing each other.” Mom gasped and yanked both of us into hugs so fast that I couldn’t even finish what I was supposed to say.

Dad poured more drinks and made us do a toast, the biggest grin on his face.

They needed to slow their roll a little bit. “I’m not ready to officially say I’m one way or the other, but I’m testing out the lesbian label and it might be for me. I’m not sure yet. So don’t go out and like, buy a giant lesbian flag to hang in front of the house.”

Mom had been sneakily messing on her phone for the past few moments.

“I got one of the rainbow ones,” she said, turning her screen and showing it to me.

“Jesus Christ,” I said under my breath.

Dad piped up. “You know, one of my buddies online is a member of this group for parents of queer kids. Now what is it called?” Now he was on his phone asking his friend.

I met James’s eyes and she winked at me. “It’s PFLAG.”

Dad snapped his fingers. “That’s it! Let me see if they have a local chapter. We should get informed and involved.”

They were ridiculous.

James and my dad seemed to get along like two peas in a pod and he dragged her off to show her all his projects, including all the vintage sewing machines he was restoring.

Mom sat down with me on the couch with cups of tea with lots of local honey in it.

“Did you know?” I asked her. It was a question I’d been wondering since this whole process started.

Mom shrugged. “I suspected that maybe you had a thing for girls. You would get really intense about some of your friends. But I figured it was best to give you space to figure things out on your own. And then you were with Connor and you told us you were happy, so I didn’t say anything.”

Right. I’d said I was happy. I’d done my utmost to make everyone believe that I had been. For four years I’d lived that lie.

“I didn’t really believe you. A mother knows. But if I’d said anything truly negative about your relationship, you might have pulled away. So I chose to keep it to myself and wait.”

Her smile was sad. There was nothing either of us could do about it now.

“I kind of wish you’d said something.”

She sipped her tea, watching me over the rim of her cup. “Would you have listened?”

No, I wouldn’t have. We both knew that I wouldn’t have.

“You got my stubborn side and your father’s. I know when to pick my battles,” she said.

I sighed.

“I always felt terrible for James. I’d wanted you to invite her over to see if maybe you could work things out. But I’m glad you got here eventually. She’s lovely.”

She was.

“I’m happy,” I said through sudden tears. “I’m really happy, Mom.”

“Oh, my girl.” She pulled me into her arms for a warm hug that smelled like basil and comfort.

“I’m happy for you. And I love you. More than you could possibly know.”

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