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Once we had everything, I helped her carry it all back to the table.

She threw the top on the box open and wiggled her fingers before selecting one of the pistachio cream croissants. It did look incredible, and a little bit of the bright green cream escaped when she bit into it, dripping onto her chin. Without thinking, I reached out to wipe it away and had to pull my hand back at the last second. I didn’t have the right to touch her. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

Delaney glared and grabbed a napkin. She wiped her chin and swallowed.

“Well? I’m here. Let’s hear it.”

Okay. It was time.

“I’ve thought about what I was going to say to you for a long time. Years. I can’t count how many times I wrote you a letter or thought about sending you a message. That’s not important.” I had to take a breath as my entire body shook in my seat. Any moment now I was going to throw up or pass out or both. Delaney took another bite of croissant.

“I’m sorry. That’s the first thing I wanted to say. I’m sorry for all the shit I said to you when we were kids. There’s no excuse for being a mean little bitch, because I was a mean little bitch. There was a lot going on with my parents and my brother and that’s not an excuse, but I feel like I was just so angry all the time and lashing out, and you were just…” I trailed off. It had taken me years to recognize the intense feelings I’d had at the time about Delaney were jealousy mixed with an absolutely massive crush. I wasn’t going to tell her about that part, though. That was my own shit to deal with.

“You were there, and you had two parents who loved you and you were sweet and kind of nerdy and I don’t know, Delaney. What I do know is that I’m so fucking sorry for all of it and I wish I could go back and yell at myself for treating you so badly when I should have treated you like a friend. I’m just so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of it. I know me saying this years later doesn’t do anything to mend the past. I know you don’t owe me anything and that is absolutely fine. I just wanted you to know that I didn’t forget about it and I didn’t stop thinking about it and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Not for a day. It’s haunted me and I know that you’re angry and you have a right to be. I’m just so sorry, Delaney. I’m sorry for all the awful things I said and did.”

I managed to shut off the flow of words and unclench my hands from each other where I’d been hiding them under the table.

Delaney had watched my face with concentrated intensity that I couldn’t look away from if I wanted to. Everything around her blurred out of focus until she was the only thing I could see.

Silence fell thick and heavy between us. The shaking that had taken over my whole body evaporated and now a prickling heat took its place. Neither was comfortable, but the heat was somehow worse as I waited for her reaction.

After what seemed like a thousand years, but was probably only moments, she exhaled and nodded.

“Okay. I guess, uh, thank you for saying that. It took you long enough.” She had me there.

I winced. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“I get it. You’ve said it already. I’m not really sure what you want from me.”

I shook my head. “Nothing. I want absolutely nothing from you. Only to listen to me and that’s it. Everything from here on out is up to you.”

Her eyes narrowed as if she didn’t believe me and she picked up the croissant again, shoving another huge bite in her mouth. The cream exploded out one end, falling onto the table and barely missing her shirt.

“How’s that croissant treating you?” I asked.

“Good,” she said, her mouth full. I snorted and then reached for my latte, my hands steadier than they had been a few moments ago.

The caffeine was from the latte going to kick me in the teeth, but that was fine. It would help me get through the rest of the afternoon.

Delaney finished the croissant and then selected a banana nut muffin.

“Is my punishment that I have to sit here while you eat that entire box?” I asked.

She tilted her head to the side as she took a bite. “Maybe. It wouldn’t be enough, but it would be a start.”

“What other kinds of punishments did you have in mind?” I asked, and then realized how flirty that sounded. That wasn’t my intention at all, but it had slipped out.

Delaney’s eyes narrowed and then she smiled. “Punishments shouldn’t be enjoyable, James. And something tells me that you’d like certain kinds of things.”

One of my hands dug into the wood of the table, clawing at it for something to hold onto. Did she actually just say that? Was this real?

“I will neither confirm or deny,” I said, trying to keep my tone neutral and get us back on more casual footing.

Her comment took me back, though. I was going to be analyzing it for hours later.

“Hmmm,” she said, eating the rest of the muffin. Once she was done, she rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine, take whatever you want. It feels weird to be eating when you aren’t.”

Tentatively, as if she was going to lunge out and bite me, I reached for the cinnamon chip muffin. They were always my favorite, even if other people thought they were boring.