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The shop was quiet, and we were pretending to work on one of the table displays.

“I know what you mean. When it’s right, it’s right, and when it’s wrong, it feels really wrong.” That was it.

“And I kept going through my past and remembering all these times that I knew something was off or that I should feel something and didn’t. All the times I literally convinced myself that I was happy or in love or turned on. No wonder I used to be so tired.” So much was clear now. As if I’d emerged from a fog that had obscured everything up until now.

“Don’t feel like you need to commit to a label. Give yourself some more time. And you might want to have another night with James. Just to double check.” She winked at me and I smacked her lightly with one of the books.

“Do you mind if I tell Jo? She might also have some advice.” One of the upsides with being friends with so many queer women was that if you decided you were queer yourself, they were there to help.

“No, go ahead. But I still have a lot to figure out. Telling my parents and if I want to post online and… I don’t know. There’s a lot to think about.” Right now, it was all so overwhelming. Part of me had some guilt about not going to my parents first, but I really wanted to be sure I had something to tell them at all. And in my mind, in the scenario where I told them, James was with me. It would be so much easier to have her by my side.

She’d go with me, I knew that for sure.

“James has truly been amazing. I couldn’t have felt better with anyone else.”

“I love that for you, my friend. That’s exactly what I’ve wanted for you. I caught the way she looked at you when she came for book club.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Shut up.” I tried to hit her with another book, and she darted away. The bell above the door rang and we gave each other a look and put on our professional smiles.

“Welcome to Between the Sheets. Let us know if you need help finding anything,” Larison said.

“Oh, thank you,” the woman said, clutching the handle of her bag on her shoulder and looking around as if the books were going to bite her.

“We’ve got ourselves a newbie,” Larison said in my ear. Sometimes we would get a customer who had never been into a bookstore like ours, but their curiosity had made them walk through the door. I’d helped more than one woman who had escaped from a strict upbringing give herself permission to read books that she’d been taught were dangerous, pornographic, and evil. Those were the best days.

“Um, actually? My friend told me about this book, and it’s got dragons in it, I think?” We knew exactly which title she wanted, and Larison directed her to the fantasy shelf and gave her the book, along with a few more suggestions. She ended up with three books and a smile on her face before she left.

“That’s why I do this,” Larison said after she left.

I hugged her. “Agreed.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

James

It was nearlyimpossible not to message Delaney all day to check on her. She gave me an update during her morning break that she’d spoken with Larison and it had gone well.

I kept stopping myself from asking if I was going to see her anytime soon. Like tonight. I’d literally seen her naked yesterday and needed to see her again, but I didn’t know if it was too much to ask.

Soooo I was wondering. What do you think about coming over to my place tonight? I feel like I can’t make a true decision about my sexuality without another try. Don’t you think?

I agreed. I really, really did.

I’m happy to be your experimental buddy. As long as you want, as much as you want. I had a physical about six months ago and everything was negative.

There, now we could talk about that part of things.

I actually went right after Connor because I wouldn’t put it past him to give me something and not tell me. You know, since he was fine with fucking other people. I’m set too.

God, my brother really was the worst. I hated that I shared even an ounce of DNA with him. It wasn’t fair that you couldn’t choose your family. I never would have picked him or my parents if I’d had any other options.

He’s the worst.

I know.

I didn’t want to keep talking about my brother.

Do you want me to pick something up for dinner? Then we don’t have to cook. More time to do…other things.