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She looked at me as if I was speaking another language. “What movie?”

This was going to require more explaining. I pulled up my phone and showed her a clip of the movie I’d watched when I was a kid with my teenage babysitter that had a scene where the women danced on the bar and even set it on fire.

“They’re definitely not going to let you do that here. There are regulations and so forth,” James said. “Plus, there isn’t room.”

The bar here was pretty narrow and lined with people sitting or leaning over to shout their orders. This wasn’t a dancing kind of bar.

“You could sing karaoke. That’s next Thursday,” she said. I shuddered. That wasn’t something on my list.

“No, that’s okay. I was just…never mind.”

James tilted her head, as if waiting for me to go on.

Instead I finished my drink and slammed the glass down, the ice rattling around. “How about another one?”

Once I was midway through my second drink, I felt good enough to try and explain the Fuckit List.

“So, you know how I was a good girlfriend?” I asked her.

“I mean, I’ll take your word for it,” she said, toying with her drink more than consuming it.

“Well I was. I was a fucking amazing girlfriend. And I’m an amazing daughter. And a model student. A good citizen. All that shit. I’ve always been good. Always done what was right. And what did it get me? A guy who fucking cheated on me.”

James winced. I kept forgetting that the guy who cheated on me was literally her brother.

“No offense.”

“I could spend a lot of time talking shit about my brother, but I’d rather not.” Fair enough.

“Anyway. I always did what was expected, never rebelled. And it didn’t pay off now, did it?” The alcohol was starting to make me feel warm and floaty. It was nice. I couldn’t stop staring at James. She’d worn a cropped T-shirt that showed her belly ring, and low-rise cargo pants that should have looked ridiculous but just looked slouchy and cool on her. She’d left her hair down in messy waves, as if she’d just been running her fingers through it. The combat boots on her feet only added to her look.

She really was different than she was in high school. I don’t know if I would have recognized her if you put her graduation picture next to one taken tonight.

“I’m guessing no is the answer you’re looking for?”

Right. We’d been talking. I’d gotten distracted by staring at her. Back on track. Fuckit List.

“I made a list of all the shit I wanted to do and didn’t do and now I wanna do all of it.” Recklessly, I pulled up the list and slapped my phone into her hand.

Her eyes scanned back and forth, getting wider the longer she read down the list.

“Oh, uhhhh, interesting,” she said once she’d finished looking, immediately grabbing her drink and taking another huge swallow.

“Did you mean to put ‘kiss a girl’ on there?” she asked, her voice suddenly loud as she leaned toward me.

My shoulder bumped into hers, as if I’d been leaning too without being aware of it.

“Oh, yeah. I mean, doesn’t everyone go through that phase when they’re young? I never did any of that. I wish I could drink underage and sneak out of my house, but that doesn’t really work because I’m grown. But I could still kiss a girl for fun, you know? Just to say I’ve done it.”

I was babbling and later I’d blame it on the alcohol.

James gazed at me as if I was a puzzle she could not solve.

“What?” I asked, grabbing my drink and finishing it. Would having a third be a bad idea? Maybe. I was still going to have another one. If I couldn’t dance on the bar, I could at least have a good time while I was here.

“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head.

“Another!” I said, raising my empty glass. “It’s the least you can do because I can’t dance on the bar.”