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I slow my pace, wanting to prolong this moment. I’ve always been enamored with her, attached to her as if she’s my lifeline. I’ve been obsessed with getting her back.
Finally, she’s in my grasp. I’m balls-deep, and being with her is more intimate and incredible than ever, but doubt creeps in. The fear of losing her has gripped me stronger than ever.
She’s allowing me to be a significant part of her life, placing her trust in me, but she’s also slipping away. She has other people and a developing career to support her. Ethan will do anything for her.
Since ditching me, she has become more independent, flying solo and doing fine. No matter how much I spoil her, how many places I buy for her, or where I tattoo her name, she can leave.
She’s not dependent on me. She maywantme, but she doesn’tneedme.
I gaze at her, vulnerable and open beneath me, mine for the taking, and I want to be buried deep inside her until neither of us can walk. Until I no longer know where I end and she begins.
But I want itall. Desperately. Mind, body, soul, every part of her.
“Jax.”
My eyes connect with hers.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, winded and annoyed.
Careful not to apply any pressure on her stomach, I lower myself over her, resting on my forearms and intertwining our fingers above her head. “This feels different.”
“It’s you.”
My brows pinch together. “You don’t feel it?”
Her smooth legs wrap higher around my waist. “I feelyou.”
I stare at her, dumbfounded.
Her flirtatious mood dissipates, and her face contorts into an expression of confusion. “Wait, are we not talking about sex?”
Is she talking about sex? I pause mid-thrust, trying to clarify my thoughts. “I mean…how is it me?”
“You’re bigger and harder now… ”
Now that I’ve stopped drinking.
She doesn’t need to say it for me to get the meaning.
Her walls flex around me in emphasis, and I don’t know if I should be proud or embarrassed. She has always been small. I figured it was her.
“I didn’t mean sex, but thanks for that. I’ll never drink again, that’s for sure.” I lean in and kiss her lips. “I meantus. This bond between us. It’s different. Stronger, but not at the same time. You know?”
She scowls. “Not? How?”
“You’re less attached to me while I’m becoming more attached to you.”
“That’s not true.” She releases my hand to run her fingers through my hair. “Don’t overthink this. Please. I want to stay with you. Leaving for New York has nothing to do with lacking attachment to you. You have hockey. I have modeling. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have each other.”
Her words sink in, and it’s almost enough to satisfy the greedy monster within me.
“Will you stop working after the baby comes?”
Her arm flops to the mattress dramatically. “Seriously? Are we doing this right now?”
“Yes. I need to know before you leave.” I give a sly smile. “While I have you trapped beneath me.”
I pull out, then slide in as deep as I can. She sucks in a gasp, and I do it again with more force. She writhes her hips and meets my thrusts.