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My Italian vocab might be limited, but I knew exactly what that meant in English: I love you.

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SAMMIE

To say that the last three weeks back in London had been shitty was putting it mildly.

Before I left for Italy, I was content enough with my job and was excited about the promotion that my boss had hinted several times was pretty much mine, but despite that amazing news, I’d started hating it.

At first I thought it was because I was still upset about leaving Romeo.

When I’d realised that he’d said he loved me, I cried happy and sad tears all the way to the airport.

I was happy because,hello, the man that I adored had just said he loved me.

For once, my feelings weren’t one-sided.

But I was also sad because I’d finally found a man that I loved who loved me back and I had to leave him.

Yes. I loved him.

Even though I’d only known him for two weeks, somehow it felt like I’d known and loved him for years.

And who could blame me? Romeo had done so many things to show me that I mattered. That I was special.

That he didn’t just accept me for who I was, he loved me because of it.

I’d wanted to tell him how I felt so many times, but I was scared.

Even now that we were still messaging multiple times a day, I still hadn’t found the courage to tell him. I would though, when he came over in three weeks.

Yep! Romeo was coming over in twenty days and sixteen hours and I couldn’t bloody wait.

Anyway, back to my job. As I was saying, at first I thought that I hated being at work because I was missing Romeo and of course because I’d just come back from the best two weeks of my life. Having the holiday blues was normal for everyone, right?

But a week later, I still had the same feeling of dread when I woke up every morning.

In the end I figured out that it was because after going to Italy and seeing how life could be and what was possible, I didn’t want to do the same job any more. Suddenly everything seemed so mundane and repetitive. I wanted more from life.

So just like Romeo had recommended when I was with him in Italy, I’d started applying for jobs that I knew I’d enjoy more, like event organisation and planning and roles that involved more interaction with customers. But so far, I’d had no interest.

When I spoke to a woman at a specialist events employment agency she said it’d be difficult for me to find work in the industry because I had no experience. But how the hell was I supposed to get experience if no one gave me a chance?

Internships weren’t an option because I had bills to pay, so that was that. I had no choice. I’d accept the promotion when it was confirmed, get some more event organisation experience and then in a few years hopefully I could work towards pursuing my dream career.

My phone chimed and when I saw it was from Romeo, a smile that was wider than a jumbo jet spread across my face.

Romeo

Ciao, bella. Thank you for my mug and the card. I love them!

I laughed as I read his message. I’d sent him a Mr Bean mug I spotted online along with a personalised thank you card with a selfie of us on the beach printed on the front.

Me

Glad it reached you safely. Now every time you drink coffee you can think of your twin brother!

Romeo