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“Yes,” Adam assured him with a brief rush of relief.

Neil’s expression flashed with a reluctant unease. “What sort of kissing?”

Adam was glad that he had already set his bowl down. He was pretty sure that the time had come for him to take that punch in the face. At least now, he wouldn’t end up both punched and splattered with lentils.

He drew in a breath and spat out the rest. “The kind where she’s got her legs around my waist, and I’m holding on to her—”

“Stop!” Neil shouted, throwing his free hand over his eyes as though it would make the visions of what Adam had just described disappear from his brain. “Just… please… Have you… Do you even have thefoggiestnotion…”

The words struck like something sharp in Adam’s guts. “Of what?” he pushed back unevenly.

“Of thedamagethat you’ve done!” Neil shot back loudly. “Of how completelyirresponsiblethis is! Had you no thought at all about her reputation? To the impact that would have on my mother and David? Did you think for even a moment about what you were doing?”

The words dug deeper, striking at Adam like stones—irresponsible, damage.

Had you no thought at all?

He felt as though he were standing on the edge of a precipice. Before it lay the cold glass of a mirror, reflecting back everything about himself he’d been afraid of. That hewasirresponsible and thoughtless. That he never considered the consequences.

His father’s voice echoed through his brain.Impulsive, reckless, selfish…

Neil was still talking. “And as to how I’m supposed to explain this to our parents, I can’t evenbeginto fathom… She’s mysister,Bates!”

At Neil’s words, the pressure building up inside of Adam suddenly snapped—and something else poured out of him, hot and powerful as a geyser unleashing.

“I know!” he roared back. “I know exactly who she is, and she’s a hell of a lot more than justyour sister!She’s a scholar and a rebel—and the smartest damned person that I’ve ever met, and that includes you, along with everybody else at that damned university. She’s resourceful, and clever, and braver than she’s got any right to be. She’s principled and passionate, and the last thing she needs is somebody—brother or otherwise—telling her what the hell she’s supposed to do with herself! I know I screwed up, all right? But what do you think—that I’m some scoundrel dragging her down the path to ruin? Ellie’s about as easy to drag as an elephant! I’m not dragging her anywhere! I’m… I’m…”

Adam trailed off—because the truth was, he had absolutely no idea what he was doing with Ellie.

That was precisely the problem.

Nothing about this conversation was helping to fix it. Adam had come out there to apologize, not get into a shouting match.

With a herculean effort, he reined his temper in and tried to go back to something at least remotely approaching reasonable.

“Look,” he said carefully, pinching the bridge of his nose, where he could feel a headache threatening to pound in. “I’m just trying to explain…”

“AndI’mjust trying to protect her!” Neil shot back angrily. “Because that’s myjob, Bates!”

Adam’s temporary victory over his anger fizzled out like a dud firecracker. “What do you think this is? Do you think I set out to seduce your sister and then leave her in a ditch? You’ve known me for overten years, Fairfax! We’re supposed to be friends! Do you honestly believe I’m that kind of person?”

“Friends don’t spend god-knows-how-long running around in the wilderness with each other’s sisters!” Neil retorted. “Or… or kissing them with… with leg-wrapping! Or…”

A colder, sharper emotion washed over Adam—one that felt uncomfortably like hurt. It mingled with the hefty dose of guilt that had taken up proprietary residence in his gut, right next to the one mouthful of lentils he’d managed to eat. “Right,” he bit out shortly. “Got it.”

He pivoted on his heel and began to walk away. He made it three steps before another impulsive and almost certainly bad idea took hold of him, forcing him to whirl back.

“You say it’s yourjobto protect your sister?” Adam snapped. “Then where were you when she was trying to get into university and the scholarship people kept telling her that she was a waste of money because she’s a girl? Or when her classmates told her she should stop ‘taking up space’ in the library?”

Adam took a step closer, the anger whipping through him like the winds of a storm. He jabbed a finger into Neil’s chest, forcing him to stumble back a step. “Or how about when she got out of school and the whole world slammed the door in her face when she dared to tell them what she wanted to do with her life? That’s right—you were waltzing down your own gold-paved path to exactly what you always knew you would do. And you didn’t once look back over your shoulder to see her standing there behind you—your sister, who’s as smart as you are, if not smarter—and who could do that job you were so damned worried about ten minutes ago as well as you can, if not better. But she’ll never get a chance, will she? Because she’s shut out of it on account of her being a woman—and because people like you keep pretending there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that!”

Neil paled with a different emotion. “I… I didn’t…”

But Adam wasn’t waiting for him. “You know what probably matters a hell of a lot more to Ellie than her virtue in the eyes of society?” he burned on relentlessly. “Maybe knowing she has a brother who actually believes in her. One who might use his oh-so-important position in the world to do something to help her live the life she’s always dreamed of—the lifeyougot handed on a damned platter!—instead of worrying about where the hell she’s been putting her legs!”

Adam’s words rang out over the flat, still silence of the fields. He felt the shocking weight of them even as he slowly absorbed that he’d probably just blown any chance he had at earning Neil’s forgiveness.

He couldn’t entirely regret it. None of what he’d said was wrong, even if he’d left out all the other things he’d meant to own up to when he came out here.