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Tansy gave me a sad smile. “Nash lost it. He was so afraid of what that would do to you. He agreed to let her keep you. He did what he could to see you. He gave her whatever she wanted. But she didn’t want him. She wantedyou,so he couldn’t have you.”
And she succeeded spectacularly, I thought, ashamed because I’d helped her do just that.
“Son, do you believe me?”
I let out a self-deprecating laugh. Some part of me wished I could resist believing it, wished I could doubt this stranger’s words. But I knew my mother. And deep down, I’d always known she was capable of this. I had just been too blinded—too consumed by my anger at Nash for choosing Maria, too disgusted by how that choice had tainted what I had with Elena. I’d walked right into my mother’s trap and played the role she needed me to play without ever questioning why.
“Silas and I moved away, but we kept in touch with Nash. Well, I did. He didn’t forgive Silas…couldn’t. I understood. Silas understood.” She licked her lips and pushed her hair behind her ear. It was a nervous gesture. “Then he met Maria. I’ve never seen a happier man. He loved her, and she loved him. It was so good to see Nash get the love he deserved. He asked Gloria for a divorce and?—”
“That was when she attempted again,” I finished for her. Mama had been using her frailty as a weapon.
“Yes. Nash agreed to stay married to Gloria. BrokeMaria’s heart, but she loved him as blindly as a person could. They called her a mistress and a whore—but she ignored all that to be with the man she loved.” She sniffled, and I saw she had tears in her eyes. “I knew Maria. We talked on the phone even if we weren’t able to meet much.”
I stood up, suddenly feeling suffocated, like the walls were pressing in, the air too thick to breathe.
“Why didn’t someone tell me?” My voice came out rough, cracking under the agony of knowledge. If I’d known, I would’ve done better—by Elena, by Nash, by myself, for the love of everything holy.
Tansy’s voice shook. “Nash tried, but you were so protective of Gloria that he decided you wouldn’t believe him anyway. And you loved your mother. He didn’t want to see you hurt.”
I let out a ragged breath, my pulse thudding in my ears.
"Who else knew about all of this?"
"Just Silas, me, and Maria."
"Elena?"
Tansy hesitated. “Yes. I believe Maria told her…later on. But that was after you and her…after all that.”
The words landed hard like the kick of a horse hoof. The sharp, gut-deep punch sent me stumbling. My knees buckled, and before I could catch myself, I was sinking.
“You’re a whore just like your mother.”
The memories slammed into me, cold and brutal, my voice ringing in my head like a gunshot. I’d said that. To my Elena. Broken her when she had no one. Nash hadMaria. Maria had Nash. And Elena had me until I’d turned on her.
My body felt hollow like something inside me had cracked wide open, bleeding out onto the floor. I left her alone in the dark, and now I had to live with that guilt and remorse.
A hand settled on my shoulder, but I couldn’t lift my head. Shame pressed down on me like a hundred pounds of wet earth.
Tansy’s voice was quieter now. “Son, I’m sorry for telling you, but I had to. When Kaz told me you wanted to sell the ranch, I knew I couldn’t keep quiet any longer. You can’t sell Wilder Ranch, Duke. Nash wanted it for you. Gloria wanted it sold, but Nash—he knew that was where you belonged.”
I finally found my legs and sat back down on the chair, feeling limp. All my energy was drained. Mama had been adamant that I sell the ranch as soon as Nash died. She’d said that to me all the time.
“Once he’s gone, I hope you’ll get rid of that horrible place.”
Now, I wasn’t sure if that was what I truly wanted or just what I’d been conditioned to believe. I’d heard it so much, absorbed it so deeply, that it had become my own truth. Because blaming Nash was easier than facing the fact that Mama had shaped my thoughts, twisted them, and made me see things her way until I couldn’t tell if they were mine at all.
My phone rang, and I sighed. “Excuse me, Tansy.” I took the call and told my assistant I would not be makingthe flight after all, and she needed to book me on something for the following morning.
Tansy sat back down on the couch. “You need something to drink?”
I shook my head. “I’m okay.”
“You were on your way to Dallas?”
I scoffed. “Yeah, I broke up with my girlfriend, who’s good friends with Mama. She threatened to kill herself because she’s worried about me being with Elena.” I rested my elbows on my knees. “She doesn’t know what happened ten years ago.”
Tansy made a sound. I looked at her.