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No one had touched the food or the drinks.
Champagne? Really? Did the woman not know the difference between a happy get-together and a reading of someone’s last wishes?
Thankfully, Fiona had left all pissed off when Duke asked her to shut up. I was glad he did it before someone popped her to shut her up because her jaw needed to be wired closed.
I didn’t like the woman, not only because she was with Duke but also because she did not know how to treat people with respect.
What the fuck did she care was in the letter Nash left me? She knew nothing about my business with Nash—it was personal, it was private, and the gall she had was outrageous.
The dust had settled, the voices had faded, and only Mac, Hunt, Duke, and I remained. The lastmenstanding?
Mac had his hat in one hand andtheenvelope in the other. He handed it out to me, and I took it. It weighed nothing but still felt like the heaviest thing I’d ever held.
Hunt watched me, concern flickering behind his eyes. “Want company?”
I shook my head. “He said to do it alone.”
“He’s dead,” Hunt unnecessarily pointed out.
I didn’t look at Duke or Hunt; I clutched the envelope from the man who was the only father I knew. Good or bad, wrong or right, Nash Wilder had been my guardian angel.
“Yeah, Hunt, I know.”
He didn’t argue. Duke didn’t say a word.
I stepped out of thegreatroom into thegreatwilderness, the wind cool against my skin. I made my way to the paddock, saddled up Whiskey, and took him for a ride. I was going to read the letter with Nash and Mama. It seemed appropriate,andI knew I’d need Mama’s support. She may not have given it to me the way Iwanted it, but she’d tried her best to balance her love for Nash and her responsibility for me.
It was a good twenty-minute gallop. I needed the speed. I needed the wind. And Whiskey, as always, gave it all he had.
I left my horse at the hitching post by the old cottonwood, loosening his cinch so he could breathe easily. He tossed his head, still full of energy. I gave him a firm pat. “Settle, boy. We’ll ride hard when we go back.”
I sank to the ground, feeling the cold earth beneath me, and tore the envelope open. Nash’s handwriting was as rough as the man himself, with jagged slants and firm strokes, like he’d carved the words instead of writing them.
I swallowed hard and began to read.
Elena,
I don’t expect you to forgive me. I have never given you any reason.
By now, Mac must’ve read the will. I haven’t left you anything. Not that you were expecting it. I know. You never cared about the money—even though you deserved part of it for what you did to save the ranch, to help it grow, thrive, and make it something to be proud of.
I didn’t leave anything to you because I couldn’t. Duke wouldn’t approve. Gloria wouldn’t allow it. Is it unfair to you? Fucking hell, pretty girl, everyone has been nothing but unjust to you.
You think I don’t know why you stayed after Maria was gone? I know. She tethered you to me. She knew Iwouldn’t be able to handle it on my own. You were my guardian angel. I was never yours, though, was I?
My fingers tightened around the paper, and tears streamed down my face.
“But you were Nash. You were my guardian angel. You taught me how to live with the land. You gave me so much,” I said to the cross on his grave.
I wiped my tears so I could read further.
I know what I did to you. I know I took out my failures on you when you were nothing but a kid who needed someone to love her. And I did, Elena. I did love you, but I let my anger, my grief, and my regrets come between us.
The wind shifted, stirring the leaves.
If there’s any peace to be found in the fact that I’m gone, let it be this—I hope you live happily, Elena. I hope you find a life bigger than Wilder land, bigger than the pain Duke and I put on you. And I hope, wherever you go, you know I was always proud of you, even when I didn’t say it. Especially then.
Now, I’m going to ask you for one more thing that is once again unfair.