Page 87 of The Silent Note

“Mom, I’m not leaving Redwood until I’m ready. Please don’tevermeddle in my career again.”

Her jaw drops.

I exhale shakily. “And… I’m sorry… if I was rude to you that night on the phone. It didn’t feel good to do that.”

She bundles her purse close to her chest. “I’m not a fool. I don’t blame you for it.”

I look up in confusion.

“This person isn’t you, Gracie.” Mom’s voice is pleading. “Twenty-four years I raised you, and you’ve never once lifted your voice at me. But as soon as you got involved withthatboy…” Her lips tighten. “He’s a rebel and a troublemaker. What did I tell you about those types?”

“That I should avoid them,” I answer by rote. It was drilled into my head since I was five years old.

Back then, mom banned me from playing with the neighborhood kids, even if they attended my elementary school.“Those types don’t turn good just because they have a good influence. They’re always the one doing the influencing. So you steer clear, alright?”

“He’s taught you how to be depraved and disrespectful. He’s turned you into someone I don’t recognize.”

My eyes squeeze shut. Frustration flares to life and makes it hard to breathe. “Don’t change the topic. This is not about Zane. This is about you coming tomyworkplace and ordering me and my bosses around.”

“I’m trying tosaveyou.”

“From what? Eternal damnation?”

“You can’t possibly think any of these decisions you’re making will take you somewhere better? Life isn’t a magic trick. If all you put in is darkness, you can’t expect light to come out in the end. Darkness in, darkness out.”

“Look in the mirror, mom. What do you think Jarod Cross is? A saint?”

“Grace Jamieson, have some respect.” Her voice crackles with exasperation. “Don’t keep comparing my husband to his wayward children.”

“Jarod Cross is much,muchworse than Zane, Dutch, or Finn. I’m serious, mom. You need to leave him before it’s too late.”

“This again.” She rolls her eyes.

“You have no idea, but you’re sleeping next to a?—”

Mom shoots to her feet so fast that the chair behind her spins on its hind legs before teetering back in place.

“You think I’m afraid?” She pats her chest with quick movements, like a butterfly fresh out of the cocoon testing out its wings. “You think, in that old neighborhood, I didn’t make deals with the devil to survive? I’ve done my share of wading through filth just to make it another day, just to keep living in thatcrappyapartment with mycrappyjob, earning thatcrappyminimum wage check. Every day was a struggle. Every day was hell.”

Tears sting my eyes because I knew how hard it was for mom, but it’s my first time hearing her admit it to me.

“I walked through that thick, ugly darkness because the light on the other side was a shabby roof over our heads, shabby clothes, and a shabby school for my daughter to attend. You say Jarod Cross is dark and evil? Fine. I’ll take this kind of darkness because at least while I’m wading through it, I can walk into a fancy academy like Redwood Prep and tell the principal to get my daughter some damn tea!”

A tear drips down my face.

My chest feels like it’s caving in.

Mom takes in a shaky breath as her eyelashes flutter roughly. She must be fighting back tears herself, but heaven forbid one actually fall down her face and ruin her expensive makeup.

“I’ll arrange things with Redwood. You just pack your bags and be ready to leave,” she says tightly.

Sloane appears, her blue eyes big and worried. I look at her and my breath hitches.

As much as it hurts, I can’t do it.

I can’t run away.

I shake my head. “You’re my mother and I love you. I’ll always love you, but you need to leave. Now.”