Page 101 of The Silent Note

Zane is eighteen.

We’re married.

This isn’t wrong. This isn’t wrong.

And yet, with a few sharp words from Zane, all the straw houses I built crumbled and the shame is now roaring back.

My fingers tremble as I re-button my blouse and tuck the ends into the band of my pencil skirt. The scent ofuslingers and I wish I could crack the window to let in fresh air. The smell gets stronger when I lift my hands to my nose. Guiltily, I grab my hand sanitizer and lather it on.

I feel…filthy.

Emptying out the hand sanitizer, I lather on more. For a brief moment, I wonder if I should try to clean off the backseat. We made a mess, and it’s not like we asked permission to use Dutch’s car as a makeshift honeymoon suite.

Heart hammering, I bring my hands to my hair and feel the knots. Curly hair isn’t the best for raking your hands through and Zane didn’t exactly care about preserving my curls when he was pulling my hair and panting into my neck.

I pour a little water from a mini-bottle I keep in my purse, slather it between my palms and try to wrestle my hair into a ponytail.

The strands catch on my wedding ring and yank. The sensation is as sharp as when Zane gripped my hair and did the same. I impatiently disentangle the ring from my hair and stare at it.

The stupid rock winks brightly back at me as if giving its approval.

I’m an idiot.

Wrenching it off, I throw the ring back in my purse.

“If you made up your mind to get naked with him, you should at least be proud of it,”Sloane says.

I glance up and notice her sitting in the front seat. Her neck is twisted as she peers at me with narrowed eyes.

“You’re back.”

“Yeah, but I kind of wish I wasn’t. All this ‘oh I’m an awful person for banging my husband’,”she makes a dramatic face,“it’s kind of pathetic, Grey.”

“Thanks, Sloane. That’s just what I need to hear right now.” I pull out my cell phone.

“What are you doing?”

“I thought ghosts could see everything?”

She pouts.“That’s mean.”

She’s not wrong.

I soften my tone a smidge. “I’m calling a car and getting out of here.”

“You’re going the Cinderella route?”

“Should I jump off a cliff and join you in whatever inter-dimensional realm you are instead?” I fire back.

Her eyebrows tighten.“Aren’t you supposed to be chock-full of endorphins, right now? Did Zane do it wrong?”

I glance away because the way Zane made me feel was sogood, it HAD to be wrong.

“That would be a shame. He didn’t look like the selfish type.”

“He’s not,” I blurt, not sure why I’m so defensive.

“Oh?” Sloane’s pale fingers wrap around the headrest. “You know, I’m learning new things about you everyday, Grey.”She wiggles her eyebrows.“Like the fact that you’re secretly adventurous.”