Page 77 of The Silent Note

“I’m not?—”

“It’s all over your face.” He chuckles but his smile is bitter. “Hate me, despise me, fear me.” His eyes flash. “I can live with all of that. But don’t pity me, Miss Jamieson.”

The truth unfolds before me in an instant.

I was wrong.

Sol isn’t like me.

Instead, he’s more like the boys in my old neighborhood. The ones who dropped out to become gang members. The ones who were born into that life. Who didn’t really have a choice. The ones who resigned themselves to living in darkness because theyhad no experience with light, who gave themselves no chance to even imagine they had a choice.

“There are some matches you shouldn’t play with, Sol.” I walk forward slowly, like I’m approaching a wild animal in the woods. “Some fires that shouldn’t burn.”

He laughs. “I didn’t really kill anyone, did I?”

“No.” I lower my voice, “But you’re testing it out. You made it seem that way because some part of you wanted it to be true.”

His brown eyes flash in my direction.

“Kill that darkness, Sol. Don’t feed it. Don’t ignore it. The things you ignore don’t go away on their own. They only get stronger.”

“Like your feelings for Zane?” He challenges.

I stiffen, stunned by the bite in his accusation. But I don’t let it stop me. Sol lashing out only means that I’ve hit a raw nerve.

“You’re not a monster,” I tell him.

He shrugs big shoulders and grins, that glint of madness roaring to life in his eyes. “I want to be.”

My frown is dark. “Sol…”

“You’re the one who asked me to set the fire, Miss Jamieson. Let’s not act holier-than-thou because I didn’t do exactly what you wanted.”

“You’re right. I’m the one you should blame. Hold me responsible. Acknowledge what’s wrong with what I did, Sol. Then you need to look inside and find the path that leads away from where I sent you.”

He laughs again, the sound full of shadows and secrets. “Look, I get it. You think, because you’re older than us, you know better. But I’m not telling you how to live your life. Don’t tell me how to live mine.”

“I’m just trying to help.”

“No, you’re trying to ease your guilt.” His eyes harden. “Zane’s obsessed with you. You never asked for that. Same withme. I’m not asking to be saved, Miss Jamieson. I’m not asking for your light. Keep that for your husband.”

Sol steps back before I can say another word and shuts the door in my face.

Chapter Eighteen

ZANE

An annoying buzzing sound vibrates against my leg. I instinctively swat it away and I hear athunksomewhere by my feet.

My eyes burst open and I squint at all the harsh sunlight streaming through the windshield. Swiping at the side of my face, I raise my good hand to stretch and stop abruptly. Muscles I didn’t even know I had are sore. My back is killing me.

“Whose idea was it to sleep in the car again?” I grumble.

“Yours,” Finn says, eyes steady on the prison entrance.

“Oh, right.” I grunt and rub the side of my cheek, sitting up a little straighter. My wrist is itching like crazy. I grab a pen and try my best to reach the spot. “Nothing yet?”

Finn nods.