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Eager.
Obedient.
I live for her commands.
So dangerous.
Who the hell have I become?
The interview continues without a hitch. Yaya seems more comfortable after the kiss and, through Patel, contributes more to the conversation.
I’m hoping the hosts will ask more substantial questions about her work as a model and her experience as a deaf social media influencer, but the topic stays locked around my family and my relationship. It’s clear they’re here for me, not for Yaya.
It annoys me, but Yaya takes it in stride. She holds herself well, answers questions charmingly, and tilts her head, listening keenly with her eyes flitting between the interpreter and whoever is speaking.
By the time the interview is finished, she’s won over both hosts with her beautiful smile and genuine personality. They shake her hand and promise to follow her on social media.
“The internetlovesyou.” Mosely approaches us when we leave the stage, eyes brighter than I’ve ever seen. “Look at this.” He turns the tablet around so Yaya can read the comments.
@druigforlvfe: She looks so stunning! I wish I was so pretty!
@crissy53e433: Her facial expressions thoooo! So adorable!!! Even I can’t make that many facial expressions in a minute.
@sylviestan70: the way she expresses her emotions through her facials is INTOXICATING
@savemetonight89934: for someone deaf her expression is lively and adorable
“Patel was voicing, but all the people at home could look at was you,” Athena says, coming to stand with us. She signs, “Even I believed you two were star-crossed lovers.”
Yaya does a little curtsy.
The excitement I felt turns to ash in my stomach. Everyone is celebrating how well we lied, how impressive our performance was. The truth is harsh. Yaya might have kissed me, but it wasn’t because I’ve made any progress gaining her trust.
Disappointment delivers a swift kick between the legs and, like that man on the moon hurtling back to earth, I get dragged back to reality.
“Where’s Talia?” I ask Mosely, hoping to change the subject. Beside me, I notice both Patel and Athena lifting their hands to interpret.
The two laugh and Patel proceeds to interpret for Yaya.
“As per your instruction, I personally escorted her through the school doors.”
“Did she give you any trouble?”
“Uh,” his eyes cast to the ground, “not more than usual.”
Great.
“Is something wrong?” Yaya signs.
I stop Athena before she interprets for me. I recognized the motion for ‘wrong’ and guessed Yaya’s meaning by the context.
“No,” I sign. “Later. Talk.”
I’m not the best at ASL, but Yaya nods. At least I got the message across.
Athena observes my pitiful ASL prowess and gives me a secret smile.
Patel looks amused.