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CHAPTER20
the group chat
YAYA
“He really said that?” Deej signs. Her eyes narrow to slits and her mouth slants at an unforgiving angle. In moments like this, she looks so much like her husband that it’s almost creepy.
“He tore up the contract right in front of me,” I sign. “He said his sister was out of rehab so he didn’t need me anymore.”
Deej voices a couple choice words.
“He wanted to pay me.Pay me.” I shake my head. “As if I’m a prostitute he had on call for a few months and now he wants to square up.”
“I knew I shouldn’t have given him a shot. This is my fault.” Deej massages her forehead. “I’m the one who sent him that text so he could meet you at the farmhouse. I’m the one who brought him into our inner circle.”
“No, this is on me. I stupidly forgot that I’m just an employee. I got caught up in this fairytale, thinking he cared about me.”
From the corner of my eye, I see my sister angrily yanking on the lever for the coffee machine. I knew this conversation would be upsetting for both of us, so I asked Deej to meet me at her café.
I’m glad I did. My sister is hate-brewing so hard right now, we’ll have lattes to give to the whole city.
She tops another cup and slides it down the row to meet the others. “What are you going to do now?”
Cry? Block him on social media? Listen to a soulful singer croon about rolling in the deep? All the above?
“I don’t know.”
“We should destroy him.” Deej picks up a cup and grips it so hard the entire thing crumples in.
“No.”
“No?”
“I don’t want to hurt him.”
“Why not?”
I close my eyes and imagine Dare in pain. I picture him haphazardly answering phone calls, running around trying to patch up whatever I destroyed. It pains me so terribly that tears well in my eyes.
Deej trots around the counter and throws her arms around me. She pats my back and voices something.
“I feel like an idiot,” I sign, sniffling. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
She waits for me to look up and then signs, “Me either.”
I frown at her.
“I just mean, I’ve never seen you so broken up about a guy. Ever.”
“It feels like…” my shoulders slump, “I lost something important, you know? I keep looking at my phone waiting for Dare to text me. I keep snapping pictures before I remember I can’t send them to him anymore. I didn’t realize it until now, but while we were together, he became my best friend.”
She gnaws on her bottom lip. “Did you tell him?”
“That he’s my best friend?”
“That you love him.”
I shake my head. “Maybe this is for the better.”