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To the right is a sign that says ‘Beth planted daisies here’. Another one that says ‘Rowan got stung by a bee here’. These happy, silly and painful moments are the markers that guide us along.
The path gets narrow and we’re forced to walk closer together. Dare’s knuckles brush mine and I feel an electric jolt. He moves a little ahead to push aside a low-hanging branch out of my path and I realize I miss walking beside him.
My head is scrambled.
It must be the moonlight.
Finally, Dare points to a bench. He sits first and I sit far from him, but it doesn’t help. The bench is small and his broad shoulders are wide enough that they nudge mine slightly. When I turn so I can face him, the front of my sandals hit the back of his dress shoes.
He doesn’t pull away.
I don’t either.
Maybe it’s because of the day I’ve had or the thought that my world will never be the same going forward that makes me say ‘what the hell’.
Or maybe it really is the moonlight.
But I’m tired of holding him at arms’ length, especially when my heart is tugging me to be closer.
“Why did you come?” I sign, feeling oddly vulnerable.
“You know why,” he signs back.
Yes, I do.
I think I’ve known since the day at the interview.
But he hasn’t acted on it. Dare Sullivan is a man of his word. He’s never done anything I didn’t want to do. Never initiated anything first.
To prove I can trust him.
To prove that he’s not going to take advantage of me.
We have our differences. Clearly. How he handled things in the principal’s office was one example. We don’t see eye-to-eye on everything, but we’re in step where it counts. Respect. Kindness. Being considerate and patient. When I brought up my concerns on how he handled Talia’s punishment, he didn’t get defensive or argumentative. He shared his point of view, listened to mine, and made me feel like he valued my advice.
The truth is, questionable girlfriend contract aside, Richard Sullivan is a good man.
And I want to be okay with what I’m feeling for him. I want to be okay with how close we’re becoming, but I don’t want to go so far that I forget where my future lies. Despite how magnetic Richard Sullivan is, my future can’t be with him.
I twist my body fully towards his. Our knees are touching. The heat of his leg is burning my skin.
“I don’t date hearing people. I’m not attracted to them on a serious level. I think I should make that clear before this goes any further.”
His gaze barely dips to my hands. He’s staring into my eyes as if he can read my mind, as if he knows what I’m signing is total BS.
“Are you admitting you’re attracted to me?”
Abruptly, I start sweating. “I didn’t admit anything.”
“Are you attracted to me, Yaya?”
I gulp. “I’m attracted to a lot of people.”
“What other people?” His eyes narrow.
“Currently?”
He tilts his head, waiting.