Page 109
"You can still sleep with whoever you want... until you find the one you can't let go of. You're not fundamentally changing."
He shot me a pointed look. "If Marley left right now, you'd just go back to roaming?"
"Were you in love with this rebounding girlfriend?" Because if he was, that was a whole other conversation.
"No." He threw a rock. "It was exciting, but clearly not love. I never looked like you did the day you met Marley and I sure as shit never fell over my own two feet to keep her. But I liked it."
"If Marley left right now, I'd chase her. If she kicked me away, I'd die on the spot. I'm not who I was before I met her and the person I am now would cease to exist. I'd have to start over with the scraps she left behind."
Travis groaned. "That's fucking sad, man. You sound insane. Have you lost your fucking mind?"
"Nope." I climbed to my feet and offered him a hand up. "Just my heart and I'm okay with all of it." I didn't care about anyone but the woman waiting in my bed. "Have you talked about any of this with Lucy?"
He shook his head. "For one, I don't need my sisters getting any ideas about fixing me up. They would be feral. And two, I'm afraid if I ask Lucy about Noah, she'll confirm they're back together and I can't handle that. I'd rather find out after he breaks Joanne's heart because I'm damn sure he's old enough and smart enough to skip town before we find him this time."
And ignorance could be bliss. Or it could be whatever this is. I handed Travis the ax. "You make firewood. And for the love of all that is holy, don't chop your leg off."
Thirty-Four
Marley
I don't want you getting all homesick and leaving
Scottie movedsome tables together in the older section of Still Standing and created a family style dinner table complete with tablecloths and real napkins. The minute we walked in the door Gus flew across the room and into Jackson's arms.
"Huk!" He babbled as he stroked Jackson's face and wiggled in his arms. Then he ducked, giving me his soft, shy eyes.
"She has that effect, little man. Even to me." He bounced a couple of times, eyes dancing with mischief.
"You've never once been shy around me."
"Oh, I have. Plenty of times. I'm just real good at pretending."
Eve hurried over. Today she wore yellow pleated shorts and a black tank-top with matching sandals. "Welcome, welcome! I gathered the nicest and easiest Finns for you to meet. Of course you know Gus and Karis." She nodded at her sister leaning against the bar chatting with Scottie. "And this is Ollie, his husband Ethan, and their twins, Alice and Luke."
I shook hands with Ollie first. He was an inch taller than Jackson, but much leaner. His face was more angular too. Ethan looked like he lived in expensive suits and tolerated chinos and sweaters when necessary. Their twins were much younger than Gus but just as adorable, watching me with big eyes.
"How old are they?"
"Ten months," Ethan said, beaming with pride. "Crawling all over kingdom come and pulling up on tables and couches."
"Well, Alice is pulling up and looking like she plans to be walking next week," Ollie added.
Ethan ruffled her hair. "We definitely have a girl with goals. Luke is much more chill."
Ollie kissed his son's head and rubbed his back. "We have no idea where he got it from."
Then I met Jackson's mini me, Colin. He blushed just like Gus did. "It's really nice to meet you. Eve will launch me into the sun if I'm awkward and Jackson will kill me, so please ignore it if I'm weird."
Jackson shook his head. "I won't kill you."
Colin was an adorable, younger, innocent version of Jackson. "We're all good. Jackson talked me through a panic attack when we met."
A lot of eyebrows went up. Jackson slid his arm around my waist, hooking his hand on my hip. "Yes, she uses my actual real name."
Heads bobbed. The silence got just awkward enough that I pressed against his side while I tried to figure out how to make it less...this. So of course I blurted out the story of how we met. "So I was like, what have I done picking a town I've never been to and hopping in the truck and just going and I got up here and I amnotused to heights or changes in elevation and everything just hit me at once, you know? So I pulled off at the next exit and straight into the first restaurant parking lot I could find. Next thing I know this cowboy hat shaped shadow is telling me to breathe."
I had their complete, rapt attention, even the children.
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