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I ignore the last part because I refuse to let her goad me into an argument. “So, you have to go?”
“Unless I’m planning to live in a different state than my husband, yeah? He has to be there the first of the year. That’s why we were having Thanksgiving at my house. I heard you weren’t thrilled about that,” she grumbles.
“It wasn’t about you,” I whisper.
“Oh?” Emily says. “Seems like it’s always been about me. What I’m doing wrong. What I could be doing better…” She trails off.
“We just always have holidays there and…it made me think about Mom.” She doesn’t say anything and I just shake my head.
“Weren’t you planning to move—” She starts and I turn to look at her.
“So, we’re right back here again? It’s like six years ago all over. You make a decision and everyone just has to be on board? I have to change my entire life because you did?”
“I never asked you to drop out of school, Elianna. Stop with the martyr bullshit.”She turns her narrowed eyes to look at me, giving me a cold stare.
“Odd way to say thank you.”
“This is just so you. No, Ellie. I’m not saying you have to move home—”
“You basically are in not so many words. Eden is at Yale and that’s not close and Grandma is getting older. They need support.”I argue. Emily would never blatantly say I should, but she knows I would if she weren’t here.
“Grandma is fine and she has Allie and Indy,” she says referring to my cousins on my mom’s side. “I know about Dad. I just thought since the plan was always for you to come home that you would. You’ve never mentioned wanting to stay in Maryland. I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise.” She crosses one leg over the other and huffs. “I’m not the bad sister you think I am.”
“But I am?”
“No. I never said you were.”She snaps. “You’re the one that is always so tough on me. Not the other way around.”
I lean forward letting my arms rest on my thighs. “I was only ever trying to help. You say you didn’t ask me to come home back then, but what would you have done if I didn’t?”
“I would have figured it out.” She sighs. “I know you just wanted to help and I’m glad I never had to know what it was like to do it alone. I’ve never doubted that you were in my corner, Ellie.” Tears well in my eyes hearing words I’d heard many times from Eden who is the most sensitive out of the three of us, but not from Emily, who in my opinion, is the toughest. “I love you… even if you are a pain in my ass.” I laugh through my tears and pull her in for a hug and I can feel her pulling away after only a second. “Okay that’s enough. This is why I don’t say anything nice to you!” She rolls her eyes before giving me a smile.
After a few minutes of silence, she speaks up again. “I know you’ve felt comfortable staying away because I was here and this changes everything. That’s why I’ve been dreading telling you this, but maybe we can talk to him. He can move to Chicago with us.”
“Do you think he’ll leave his house?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “But we could ask.”
Later that night, I’m at my father’s house in my old bedroom by myself. Eden, wanting to keep herself busy, went out with some of her friends who I will probably be picking up later from the bar. I pick up the phone to call Rowan and he answers on the first ring.
“Hi, sunshine.”
“Hey.”
“Are you at your dads?”
“Yeah.” I pull one of my dad’s beers to my lips and take a healthy sip. “Having a beer.”
“As you should. It’s been a day. Are you there alone?”
“Yeah, Eden went to get drunk with her friends. You remember what it’s like when you’re home from school for the first time since graduating. Also, I mean…he’s fine. There’s no need for anyone to worry.”Even as I speak the words, I feel as if I’m holding back tears because…my dad had a heart attack.
“I’m so happy to hear that, baby. God, I’ve been so worried about you. We all have.”
“Tell everyone I’m fine. I’m okay.”Sort of.
“I hear it in your voice, baby. Talk to me. What’s going on?”
I sigh, knowing I’m going to have to broach this subject at some point. “Can we FaceTime?”