Page 38

“I think you can call me Rowan.”
“That’s what I was going to say…” She trails off and I don’t think I like where this is going. “I don’t make it a habit to get involved with…” She swallows. “Anyone in the family I nanny for…let alone the father.” She bites her bottom lip and I sense the nervousness all over her. “I do like you, but…I think this has the potential to get really messy and quickly.” She blinks up at me. “And I’m sorry I kind of set all of this in motion last night and my intention was absolutely not to jerk you around and…”
“Hey.” I stop her because I can already see her spiraling. I know that she hadn’t intended to do that at all. Elianna is kind and cares about everyone’s feelings, and I know even at this moment, she’s thinking about everyone else’s but hers. “I didn’t think you were.”
“You hired me to focus on them,” she says. “And…I can’t if I’m focused on…well,you.”
I turn so that the back of me is against the counter and I can look at her straight on. “I respect that, Elianna.”
She looks up at me. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing.”I reach for her hand and give it a squeeze hoping it doesn’t make her uncomfortable.
Her brown eyes find mine and I can see the sadness lurking behind them, which I’ve only seen once when we talked the other night about her mother and Bianca. There’s always so much light in her eyes, it’s a bit jarring to see it extinguished. “Maybe whenever you leave us.” I smile at her and her eyes immediately leave mine to turn back to her dishes.
“Maybe.”
“I should get some work done,” I tell her and she nods without looking at me. “Elianna…” I start because I feel like she’s about to break down on me, but she shakes her head.
“I’m fine. I just don’t do well with any kind of confrontation.”
“This isn’t confrontation, Elianna. Look at me.” She does briefly before casting her gaze downward, but even in that brief look, I saw the tears swimming in her eyes. “We’re good, alright?” She nods again. “Can I see a smile?” She gives me one that looks a little forced but I’ll take it for now.A part of me wants to hug her but I don’t want to push her, so I just nod and head to my office.
The next few days I barely see Elianna. I was already planning to have a very busy week, and maybe I’m now using that as an excuse to stay out of the house and allow Elianna and I to get back to how things were. I didn’t want there to be any awkwardness between us and I got the feeling that she needed some time to get back to normal.
My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing and I see it’s my brother.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in months. Wasn’t hiring a nanny supposed to give you some free time?” he says before I can even utter a greeting.
“Work has been kicking my ass. What’s up?”
“Nothing, I just hadn’t talked to you. I wanted to see how things were.” It was true; I usually talked to him more, especially on the days when he picked the kids up from school. Now that he isn’t doing that anymore, there isn’t a specific need for us to be constantly talking, but hearing his voice reminds me that I’ve missed it.
“Sorry, man. That’s on me.”
“I’m not crying over it. I’m fine.” He chuckles. “But you’re good?”
“Yeah.” Part of me wants to tell him about what happened with Elianna but then I remembernothing actually happened.
“Well, now that we’ve gotten the pleasantries out of the way, what are you doing tonight?”
I lean back in my chair, already regretting the curiosity moving through me. “Why?”
“Come on. We haven’t been out in ages.”
“It’s a Thursday.”
“And? You used to love going out for Thursday Night Football and Washington’s actually good this year.”
“Why do I feel like there’s more to this story?”
“Okay, and maybe because there’s this new bartender at The Dugout.”And there it is.
“Since when can’t you go to a bar by yourself? You work better without a wingman anyway.” I chuckle because while we were both no stranger to women’s attention, I’m usually more reserved and River entertains everyone unashamedly.At all times.
“Well, I do also want to hang out with my big brother. Sue me,” he says sarcastically. “Come on, just a drink…” I hesitate and he speaks again. “Or four.”
“One drink, River,” I tell him and I can’t tell if he claps or slaps whatever’s in front of him before he lets out a cheer.