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“Which is a lifetime. Trust me. Just ask your older sister.”
“I’m an only child.”
“That’s a shame,” Vivian said. “Big sisters are awesome. At least mine was.”
“I always wanted a sister,” I said. “One who could teach me things.”
“Like how to shove cotton up your twat each month?”
I laughed then, in spite of my fear and discomfort. In fact, I laughed so hard I momentarily forgot about both.
“That’s better,” Vivian said. “No more crying. I forbid it. And since I’ve already gone above and beyond the call of duty here, I am offering up my services as surrogate big sister. For the next six weeks, you can talk to me about any damn thing you want.”
“Like boys?”
“Oh, I happen to have lots of experience in that area.” She let out a rueful chuckle. “Trust me, Em, they’re more trouble than they’re worth.”
“How much experience?”
“If you’re asking if I’ve had sex, the answer’s yes.”
I shrank away from her, suddenly intimidated. I’d never met a girl who’d doneitbefore.
“You look scandalized,” Vivian said.
“But you’re only sixteen.”
“Which is old enough.”
“Did you like it?”
Vivian flashed a wicked grin. “Loved it.”
“And did you love him?”
“Sometimes it’s not about love,” she said. “Sometimes it’s just about seeing someone and wanting him.”
I thought of Theo just then. How handsome he was, with muscles in all the right places. How looking at him made me feel deliciously unbalanced. Only in that cramped stall with Vivian did I understand that I had experienced the first flush of desire.
The realization almost made me start to cry again. The onlything that stopped me was the sound of the latrine door squeaking open, followed by the slap of flip-flops on the tile floor. Vivian peeked through the crack in the stall door. She turned back to me with wide eyes and mouthed two words:Holy shit.
Who is it?I mouthed back.
Vivian answered in an excited whisper, “Theo!”
Water began to blast inside a shower stall. The one in the far corner of the latrine. I started to feel dizzy as my brain filled with the same stew of emotions I had felt the night before. Warmth. Happiness. Shame. I was in the same room with a boy who was showering!
No, not a boy. A man.
And not just any man. Theo Harris-White.
“What do we do?” I whispered to Vivian.
She didn’t answer. Instead, she moved. Out of the stall. Toward the door. Dragging me with her, the two of us incapable of making a silent retreat. Vivian giggled madly. I tripped and slammed a shoulder into the paper towel dispenser.
“Halt!” Theo called from the shower stall. “Who goes there?”
Vivian and I exchanged looks. I’m certain mine was deer-in-headlights panicked. Hers was delighted.