Page 70

“Have some more wine.”

She held out her glass and Regan refilled it. She sipped it slowly, but the glass was empty by the time she spoke again. “Matt loves Lulu, but he won’t give up his life for her. If she stays, she’ll be brought up by a series of nannies, and while Diana is good, she could hand in her notice any day and leave. Lulu would be hurt, and maybe next time she’ll try not to care so much, and the time after that, she’ll shut herself off and won’t care at all. She’ll end up as screwed up as her Aunt Darcy.”

“Why don’t you look after her? And by the way, you are not screwed up. Give me a second.” She jumped up, disappeared into the kitchen, and came out ten seconds later with another bottle of wine and the corkscrew. “Why can’t you look after her full-time? Why not apply for custody if you think Matt really doesn’t want her?”

Actually, she didn’t think that; she truly believed Matt’s decision would be based on what was right for Lulu. “I could apply for custody, but how far do you think I’d get with my record? Besides, I’d make a crappy mom. I might just scrape through as an aunt. But I’m not the maternal type. It wouldn’t be fair to Lulu. What can I offer her? I’ll probably just mess up like I did with Emma, and Lulu will pay.”

“Emma was not your fault.”

She ignored the interruption. She was on a self-misery roll now. “Maybe some people are meant to be alone.”

“You are so fucking melodramatic. You are not alone. You have me and Summer and Sam and…Matt.”

She snorted. “If Lulu goes to Australia, how long do you think me and Matt will last? Lulu is the only thing we have in common.” She drank the new glass in one go then slammed it down on the table. “Time to get a grip. This is real life, not fucking fantasy land. It’s for the best. Lulu will be safe and happy and have a real family, and Matt will get his nice, organized life back and go back to shooting people or killing them with his bare hands or whatever it is he does.”

“And you?” Regan asked.

“Hell, you said it yourself. It’s about time I had some fun.”

She was going to tell Sam she was going back on the circuit. That’s what she needed, a few good fights.

“Why does that make me seriously scared?” Regan murmured.

Darcy grinned, even if it was a little forced. “Because you’re a pussy.”