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Chapter Seventeen

Matt looked around the dinner table. His mother’s expression was expectant, almost radiant. She was happy. Why hadn’t he seen this coming? His father frowned as though he was less sure of an ecstatic reaction.

Why the hell hadn’t his mom and dad warned him that they were going to drop this bombshell? He might have been more prepared. He might have also warned Darcy so she could have prepared herself.

But maybe that’s what they’d wanted: to getan initial, unpremeditated reaction from them both together. It was the sort of thing they would do, and it pissed him off.

He couldn’t get his head around the idea. It was just a big empty space where intelligent thoughts should be. And Darcy was no better. He couldn’t get a handle on what she was thinking or feeling, at all. Her face had gone blank as soon as she’d processed the announcement. Keeping everything inside.

“What do you think?” his mom asked, beaming around the table. “We’ve talked it through, and it seems to be the best answer for everyone. Lulu will get a family and a sister. She’ll love Australia.”

And he would get to see her maybe once a year, if he was lucky. Darcy, the same.

“You could always think about a move to Australia,” his mom continued, speaking to both of them. “Not right now. But sometime. There are wonderful opportunities out there.”

Never going to happen. There wasn’t much need for a British army captain in Aussieland.

“I’m on parole,” Darcy said, her voice devoid of emotion. “For breaking your son’s arm, among other things. I don’t think they let convicts into Australia like they used to.”

His mother’s smile faded from her face as she glanced between the two of them. “Matt?”

He waved a hand at her. “Leave it for now, mom. It’s just a surprise. We need to process it.”

“But you do see it’s the best option for Lulu?”

He didn’t, right now. But he suspected with a bit more thought that yes, logically, it was the best option. But he wasn’t feeling very logical at that moment.

Darcy pushed her chair back and stood up. “Thank you for a lovely dinner.” It had actually been far from lovely. Most of it had been charred at the edges. “But I think I’ll be leaving now. I have a class to prepare for tomorrow.” She gave a general smile around the room and started to walk away.

He couldn’t let her go like this. They needed to talk. He needed to find out what was going on in her head.

“Wait,” he said. “I’ll walk you part of the way.”

She hesitated at the door, then turned and gave a brief nod. “I’m just going up to say good-bye to Lulu. I’ll see you outside.”

They didn’t talk for the first five minutes, but just walked side by side, both lost in their own thoughts. Finally, she slowed her steps.

“Did you know?” she asked.

Was her question an accusation? “No. I knew nothing. This came as much a shock to me as to you. They never even hinted.”

“You never asked them to take Lulu?”

He halted at the question. “Of course I never fucking asked them.” How could she even think he would have done that without talking to her? But not even in the beginning, when he’d first heard about his brother’s will, had he considered refusing the request. Maybe he’d done it out of guilt, because he felt deep inside that he’d let his brother down. His mother had never even seen Lulu.

“It would be the answer to your problems. I wouldn’t blame you if you’d asked. I just wish you’d talked to me.”

He gritted his teeth. That she would believe he would lie to her, after what they had together. “I never asked them,” he replied through gritted teeth. “It never even occurred to me.”

They walked on. But he supposed she was right. He could have his life back. The life before Lulu. And Darcy. He could go back to active duty without the inconvenient feelings of guilt. His money worries would vanish with no more childcare to pay. Hell, he should be ecstatic. He waited. Nope, no waves of relief or ecstasy washed over him. Just that blankness. And a little niggle of fear. Except he wasn’t sure what he was afraid of. He cast a glance at Darcy and still couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

Right at the start, she’d told him that all she wanted was to be sure that Lulu was safe and happy. He suspected things had changed since then.

He cleared his throat and asked the question. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know. I have no clue.” She turned to him and rested a hand on his chest. “Just give me a little time to process this and then we can talk.”

“You want me to come back with you?”