Page 17

She realized she’d been silent for a long time. Lost in her thoughts. “Yes. She let me go to prison. But I did a lot of reading while I was inside. About abusive relationships. I couldn’t understand it, but I did forgive her. Then she died.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I.” She turned her gaze to him, studied him. “You look so much like Steven.”

“That’s why you were staring at me the other night.” He shook his head. “I thought you fancied me. Instead you hate me.”

Did she? “I don’t hate you,” she said. Though she wasn’t totally sure that was the truth. “I don’t know you. You remind me of Steven and that makes me…uneasy.”

His eyes narrowed and something flashed across his face. “You think I’m like that”—he waved a hand at the beige file lying between them—“you think I’m like my brother? That I would hit a woman?” She could almost see the heat rising inside him as he gritted his teeth. Was he going to lose his temper? Maybe he was like his brother, after all. She prayed not. But what did she know? And perhaps she needed to—needed to know what he would do when he was pushed.

“Why not?” She gave a shrug. “How do I know any different? You seem to spend a lot of time…angry.”

He studied her for a moment, his gaze flicking from the file to her face. She raised a brow, let her skepticism show in her eyes, as well as a little of the hatred she’d felt for his brother. She could almost sense his inner battle. Maybe he still hadn’t come to terms with what his brother had been and was fighting the need to defend him. In the end, all he said was, “I’m not like my brother.”

“How the hell do you know that? From what I can tell, you know nothing about the man he really was.”

He shifted on the seat. “We weren’t close.”

“Really?” She filled her voice with scorn. “Yet he left his only child in your care.”

“There was no one else. He knew I’d do the right thing.”

She gave him a long cool look. “And do you always do the right thing, Captain Peterson?”

He ran a hand through his short hair, frustration hardening his features. But as she watched, he regained control of himself and the tension left him, his shoulders relaxing. “I try. And it’s been hard. I never wanted a family. Never expected one. But I’ve done my best—and it’s difficult with my job—but I think Lulu’s doing okay. And she’s not…the easiest child.”

She forced away her own tension. Because if she used her logical side, she believed him. There was something so controlled about Captain Mathew Peterson. With his perfectly smart clothes, his short, neat hair; she couldn’t imagine him losing control, letting go. It was her illogical side that couldn’t accept the similarities to a man she’d hated with every inch of her soul. And if she was honest, there was something else—because he hadn’t been totally off the mark with his comment about her fancying him. Beneath the surface, a very unwelcome attraction lurked, knocking her off balance. She couldn’t rid herself of the memory of how his hard body had felt against hers. It had just been too long. That was all. She was desperate.

“I’m afraid Lulu’s more like me than Emma.”

“She’s a fighter, all right.” He sighed. “So where do we go from here? What is it you want? I won’t give up custody. And to be honest”—he allowed his gaze to wander over her, and she held herself still—“you don’t come across as the maternal type.”

She didn’t like that. But she wasn’t sure why, because she’d never thought of herself as maternal, either. She’d never considered children before. And now, she’d built up walls around herself that she wasn’t willing to breach. No way would she let herself care for someone else. She was obviously crap at the relationship thing. She’d lost everyone she’d ever cared about. But never again.

“I’m not. I don’t want custody. At first, all I wanted to do was check that she was okay. Make sure that you weren’t like Steven and she was safe.”

“And you do believe that?”

“Yes,” she said grudgingly. “But everything changed when I saw her. I think I’d been in some sort of denial. She’s my only family, and I’d like to be part of her life.” She held her breath. She was quite aware she wasn’t anyone’s idea of a good influence. “Look, Captain—”

“Call me Matt,” he interrupted.

“Matt—I know I might not look like the perfect aunt, but give me a chance. I’ll never do anything to hurt her.”

“You own the gym?” He nodded across the street.

The question took her by surprise. “Yes. I told you, both Emma and I were left money by our parents. The gym was owned by a friend, and he wanted to retire. And it’s been successful. I’m solvent, if that’s what you’re trying to ask. The money’s been coming in over the last few years, and I haven’t had the chance to spend anything. I can help with Lulu, if you need it.”

“I don’t need help.”

Had she offended him? Hard luck. She told it the way it was; she wasn’t going to pussyfoot around him.

“Are you going back in the ring?” he asked.

It wasn’t something she knew the answer to. Sam was pushing her to go back. But she’d changed. Somehow, she’d lost her competitive edge. Lost her faith in herself. She’d failed Emma. She knew that. “I don’t know. Does it make a difference?”

“I don’t know.” He echoed her words. “I have no right to keep you from Lulu. She deserves all the family she can get. But…I don’t know you. So we need to take things slowly.”