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“Hah.” She rubbed her finger over the stud in her nose. She’d gotten it when she was sixteen after an argument with her father. Teenage rebellion at its most obvious. But she liked it—just as she liked her tattoos. “I knew I’d get some sympathy from you.”

“Summer’s the sympathetic one, and she’s not here. I’m the realist. Tell me all about it. I can have a good laugh, and you’ll realize it’s not the end of the world.”

She rested her head back against the leather sofa. “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“Darcy Butler. The best friend ever.”

Her eyes pricked and she gave a sniff. That was something else. She never cried. Not ever. But these days, she felt teary all the time. Ugh.

“I wouldn’t have made it without you,” Regan said. “Summer certainly wouldn’t have. You made us both strong enough.”

“Ditto.” They’d helped one another.

“Okay. Tell me what happened. I won’t laugh. Promise.”

“I thought Captain Matt was going to ask me to a swanky party.”

“Go on…”

“And I was thinking about buying a dress, with long sleeves, so his friends would like me.”

“And…”

“Instead, he asked me to babysit Lulu so he could ask Diana, the super-perfect, tattoo-less, no-studs-in-her-nose nanny.” Regan’s lips twitched. “You dare laugh and I’ll punch you.”

Regan pursed her lips, no doubt to stop the laugh from falling out. She cocked her head to one side and studied Darcy. She had to hold herself still to keep from squirming. “Did you want him to ask you to the party?”

“To be honest, my brain never got as far as considering whether I wanted to go or not. It went straight to how do I turn myself into the sort of person he wants to be seen with. I don’t even like him.”

“You don’t?”

“He’s smug, and tidy, and perfect. Just like the goddamn nanny. And he reminds me of Steven.” Though that wasn’t totally true anymore. Not really. It hadn’t been for a while.

“And yet…you let him into your pants.”

She glared. “Your point?”

“Well, you’ve clearly got this whole subconscious thing going on with him. Your logical brain is telling you he’s off-limits, that he’s not your type. But underneath, there’s some serious I-want-to-fuck-you going on. Am I wrong?”

She rubbed her lower lip and remembered his penis. Yeah. She wanted to fuck that penis. It was just sad that it came attached to the rest of him. “Maybe not.”

“Aha. We’re being honest. You must be worried.”

“My dress was going to be long-sleeved and probably pink. Hell, yes, I’m worried.”

“Scary. Hmm. Could it be some sort of self-destruction thing?”

“I don’t want to self-destruct.” Did she?

“You feel you let Emma down. You don’t deserve to be happy. Blah, blah, blah.”

“I did let Emma down. But I don’t think I’m quite that bad. I’ve come to terms with it and I want to move on. I just seem stuck.”

“And maybe you’re fixating on Captain Matt because you know a relationship with him is never going anywhere. Maybe you like being stuck because it stops you from having to think about what you want to do next.”

“I do?” Was she that complicated?

“Don’t you?”

“Maybe. We’re total opposites. The only thing we have in common is Lulu. But because of Lulu, we’re in each other’s lives. Long term. If we sleep together, it won’t last. It never lasts. And I wouldn’t want it to anyway—have I mentioned he’s a boring prig?”

“He’s also a gorgeous guy, and there’s an element of the forbidden about him. Plus, it’s been way too long since you had a good shag.”

“All valid points.”

“Well, we can’t do anything about the gorgeous or the forbidden bit, because I think you’re right—it will mess things up with Lulu. Which means we’re going to have to work on the shag part. That, we can do something about.”

“I doubt it.”

“I like a challenge. Go get your glad rags on. We’re going on the pickup.”