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“Anyway.” I cleared my throat. “So you clocked how I was on T?”

It was low-dose, but she’d mentioned something one day after she’d watched me inject myself. She’d noticed my voice was lower, and my jaw a bit more angular, that first day we met.

“Yeah?”

“I started taking it back in LA,” I said. “And the longer I was on it, the more I realized… Shit, sex might not be so bad after all. I caught myself looking at people, and yeah, I know T can affect your libido especially when you start, but…”

Arlene brought her knees up to her chest, resting her face there. “It felt like more than good ol’ libido?”

“Yeah.” I chuckled. “I mean, for all I know, it’s all a result of being on T, truthfully, but the fact is… The easier I found it to look at myself in the mirror, the easier I found it to look at other people. But more than that, I started being actually interested in sex.”

Arlene hummed. It was for the best that she was choosing to not let me just talk with no input whatsoever. I could do it, but I could feel the discomfort creeping in the longer I went without any kind of interruption.

“I think I relate to that,” she said. “Well, maybe not in the same way, but before I came to terms with being a woman, the idea of being in a relationship just icked me out.”

Huh. No, I supposed it wasn’t quite the same, but it still took more of that weight off my shoulders.

“Yeah, so… It was kind of a dark era.” I sighed. “And, again, it doesn’t mean that I’m the most interested or sex-driven person out there, even when it seems like I’m fucking you all the time, but… It’s a part of me I had to discover and figure out and kind of accept, too.”

Arlene nodded. She leaned forward—not to touch me, but to be closer. I didn’t mind it. Gay’s words resonated in my head: it was important that Domms were vulnerable too, and it was important that Arlene understood every part of me. Moreover, it was important that I didn’t walk around with all this weight on my shoulders or all the unanswered questions and imagined scenarios that were only hindering what we were building.

“It’s what you meant when we talked about labels, isn’t it?”

My eyes widened. Yes, I’d noted she could be as observant as I was, but I still hadn’t expected her to remember or make the connection.

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “I’d built my entire identity around being ace, and yucking at people when they talked about anything sex, and it was hard to… let go of it. Well, some of it. I still call out Ben when he tries to tell me stuff.”

He just didn’t understand the concept of TMI. Besides, he was like my annoying little brother. I was glad that he was enjoying his life with Julian, but I didn’t need to picture it so vividly, thank you very much.

“That makes sense.” Arlene chuckled. “I struggle when Dylan goes TMI, too.”

I groaned. “We can never let them meet.”

There was no way in hell that Ben would leave LA unless he was invited to some sort of fancy event somewhere. Still, I was not risking it.

“Agreed.” Arlene grinned, shifting from one ass cheek to another. “Can I ask a question, though? It might be very obvious.”

“Sure.” I ignored the way my heart started picking up speed, or the way my mouth dried up.

This was Arlene. I trusted her.

“So, I understand everything about the viral video, and I appreciate so much that you’re opening up about it and let me… see, I guess? Like, it means a lot to me, and I get how hard talking about it must be.” She took a deep breath. I had to pretend it didn’t skyrocket my already frazzled nerves. It was fine. It would be fine. “But why today? And why… the lack of clothes?”

Right. I hadn’t tackled that part yet.

“Yeah, that’s mostly for my benefit, too. I mean, to be fair, telling you about the whole thing is, to be honest.”

Arlene tilted her head to the side. It wasn’t a gesture she did often, but it was cute when she did. Sue me.

“I was talking with Cin’s Domme the other day.”

Now that I thought about it, I wasn’t sure that Arlene had met Gay, or knew about Cin’s dynamics. We’d gone to one more munch, but Arlene was happier to stay at home baking, or indulging in my addiction to cheese fries, so I didn’t push her too much.

Should I?

I guessed I had something else to pester Gay with when I ran into her next. It was a good thing she didn’t mind me doing it.

“Okay?”