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I ran a hand through my hair. I should’ve grabbed something to tie it with, but I was not a morning person on a good day.

“Yeah.” I swallowed. “It’s like, when I posted that video… I mean, I get that I went about it wrong. I was just thinking about monetizing and going viral, and I shouldn’t have used clickbait or any of those things. But… Suddenly, my entire experience as a human being was reduced to whether or not I was a true asexual. Whatever that meant.”

“The comment section got ugly for sure.” Arlene winced. “I did not participate, by the way. I never really commented or engaged at all.”

“It’s fine.” It was a relief, but today was not the day to stop and let that feeling sink in. “I guess a part of me is still bitter that I didn’t get any of the support I’d wanted. Deep down, I mean.”

“I get that.” Arlene nodded. “If you wanna talk about it… I swear I’m not saying it as a fan or anything like that.”

I grimaced. It wasn’t that she offered, or that I saw her as a fan who was after some fresh gossip. Hell, it wasn’t as if it mattered. I’d quit the world of YouTube years ago. There was no reputation to damage—or salvage, for that matter. That ship had sailed a long time ago.

Then again, I should probably talk about it at some point. If anything else, it was an elephant in the room hovering every time I let someone in for real. And I was the one bringing it up time and time again. That had to mean something.

“I know.” I sighed. “It’s just, as cliché as it is, I didn’t have an… easy time, coming out. With my family or anyone else at the time, really. And I don’t know how to talk about that video without relating it to all that shit.”

“I’m sorry.” Arlene reached out her hand.

I grabbed it on instinct, intertwining our fingers. It was strange. I didn’t want people going around thinking I was super affectionate, but I didn’t mind it with her.

Man, I really had it bad.

Was this what they’d talked about once at a munch? Sub-frenzy? Dom-frenzy had to be a thing, too. I might not be an expert on everything kink, but it made sense that there were equivalents.

“Uh, thanks?” I never quite knew what to answer when talk involved my past. Most days, it was easy to be focused on the present and the life I’d built for myself. A few days a year, though, it hit a bit harder. I wasn’t too ashamed to admit I turned into a bit of a recluse then. “But yeah. I guess it’s just one of those days I’m in my head more than usual.”

I didn’t know there was a day when I wasn’t in my head. Perhaps what I meant was that I wasn’t as good as hiding it today.

“That’s fine. We can just chill on the couch.”

There was no way I could tell her, but Arlene looked like an overexcited puppy trying to hold that excitement in right now. It was a good thing that I was coming to the realization that I really liked physical touch with her.

“Sure. After pancakes.”

“Right. Of course.”

I chuckled. I’d been the one talking, but I’d also eaten at least double what she had. Too bad I wouldn’t feel self-conscious about it. I’d never been the kind of person who lost their appetite, especially not when it came to desserts or anything sweet.

Arlene could really do desserts. I was doomed once she learned how easy it would be to blackmail me into everything and anything with them.

I digressed, though.

“Couch?” Arlene asked.

I would’ve nodded if she hadn’t started to gather everything.

Look, I was more than okay with having Ben or Julian mend for themselves. Ben and Julian didn’t cook for me, though. They were even more useless than I was—Ben more so.

Arlene didn’t fall into that category—of useless. I was even afraid to ask how long she’d been awake before I came down.

Even my limited cooking knowledge said pancakes didn’t take very long to make, but she must’ve had to figure out where everything else was first. My kitchen wasn’t the tidiest space in the house. Besides, she’d looked way too awake.

Either she was a morning person, or she’d had time to actually wake up.

“Lemme,” I protested before she made her way all over to the kitchen.

“It really is fine.”

“I don’t care.” I jutted my chin up. “Besides, I have a system.”