Page 86 of Tarnished Gold (Landry 5)

you. I wonder if you will want to know me. I wonder

if we will ever have a conversation.

If we did, I would tell you that when you were

born, I thought it was glorious and I was filled with

such love for you, I feared my heart would burst. I

would tell you I spent night after night crying when I

thought about you. I would tell you I was sorry. Of course, you might hate your father and

resent your stepmother, so I have to think hard before

I tell you these things. It might be that for your sake I

never do, because your happiness is far more

important to me than my own.

I just want you to know I love you, and even

though I didn't want it to happen, you became a part

of me and always will be.

Love,

Your mother Gabriel

bsp; .

I kissed the paper and folded it tightly. Then I

stuck it in my top drawer with my most precious

momentos. It felt good to write it even though I knew

Paul would never read it.

The moon poked its face between two clouds

and sent a shaft of yellow light over the swamp. It

looked magical for a moment, and I could swear I

heard the cry of a baby. It echoed over the water and

drifted into the darkness. I curled up in my bed and

pretended I had baby Paul in my arms, his tiny face

pressed up against my breast, my heartbeat giving him

comfort.