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But it felt that way. Why couldn’t Tori see that? She wouldn’t understand, and Miranda was just going to have to accept that. With every last ounce of energy and gumption she had, she started to eat. The sooner she could get the dinner over, the sooner she could get back to Rebel. She wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

twenty-two

“Tori, are you all right?” Aili’s voice cut into Tori’s numbness, and she stopped walking, looking around at the walls covered in colored artwork. When had she gotten to the daycare?

“Hey.” She forced the smile into place, knowing it was unlikely to convince Aili but hoping her friend knew the signs well enough not to push, at least not right then. “I’m fine, just in my own little world I guess.”

“Uh-huh.” Aili and her familiar knowledge of Tori. Not to mention Tori’s absolute pitiful excuse for a poker face. Aili pinned Tori with narrowed eyes and a raised eyebrow.

“I better go get Harley.” Tori perked up enough for Aili to lower the eyebrow but not enough to soften the glare.

She had missed her little girl even more than normal this week.

The high expectations she had at the beginning of the week vanished quickly as Miranda responded to her texts with longer time between and fewer words.

She knew Miranda wasn’t the most verbose—really she did—even though she thought more than once that Miranda had found quite a lot of words to say at the restaurant. Still, Tori couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something else going on. She told her clients to trust their instincts, to believe in their gut feelings, and to learn that not feeling okay about something was enough to move away from a situation.

But Tori felt the insistence of time pressing down on her shoulders, and the need to find her true love weighed more than the earth itself. She was further from it now than before.

She slowed her steps as she drew closer to Harley’s room. She couldn’t carry this energy in with her, not when she hadn’t seen Harley for an entire week.

She had to look at the facts.

She and Miranda had eventually returned to a more comfortable silence and conversation. It had still been a little stilted, but it was okay. They had even ended the date with a kiss, not chaste per say, but the moment Tori had deepened the connection, the moment her fingers had made their way up Miranda’s neck and buried themselves in Miranda’s hair, Miranda had pulled back and said her goodbyes. She had thanked Aili, cradled a sleeping Rebel in her arms, and left without a backward glance.

Tori had convinced herself that Miranda just needed a day or two to process the fact that having a date night did not equal abandonment. Not everyone processed things as quickly as she did, and Miranda had proven herself slower at times. Tori had always managed to keep going no matter what the world threw at her.

“Mommy.” Harley’s voice pierced Tori’s spiraling thoughts, and she grabbed Harley up in her arms and spun her around. Harley’s laugh brought a ray of sunshine back into her mood.

That was what she needed. She had to focus on the positive things, and nothing was more positive than Harley. Miranda was worth giving more time to. There was still time. Perhaps not a lot, but enough to give her a little longer to settle into what her life had become. Miranda had a lot to deal with, and being a new parent, whether she considered herself one or not, was damn tough. Tori remembered the struggles she and Siena had gone through that first year of Harley’s life.

“Hey, Pumpkin.” Tori put Harley back on her feet and then crouched down to her level. Meeting her daughter’s eyes, Tori’s smile stretched naturally over her face. “How about we go out for a special dinner tonight, just you and me?”

“’Arley! ‘Arley! ‘Arley!”

Tori’s heart stuttered at Rebel’s excited voice. She wanted to turn around and see Miranda, she wanted to look into those honey eyes and know that all the short texts were about work and new parenting.

Taking a deep breath, she spun on her heels and saw Rebel running full force toward her.

Rebel didn’t stop as she bowled Tori over, knocking her onto her butt. Tori’s arms flew out, grabbing Rebel around the waist and lifting her up in the air. Their eyes met, and Tori smiled at the excitement filling Rebel’s face, the squeal of delight unmistakable.

“Hey, Rebel.” Tori was mesmerized by how similar Rebel’s eyes were to her aunt’s. Golden flecks mixed in with dark ones made her eyes look bigger than they probably were. Her hair was no longer matted and had nice cute ringlets to it. Tori couldn’t resist curling one around her finger and giving a very gentle and light hug.

“Rebel.” That voice, cracking like a whip around Tori, made her arms shake slightly and her heart beat faster. Oh, how she had missed that voice. “You can’t keep running off. We’ve talked about this.”

Tori helped Rebel back to her feet and stood up, brushing off her clothes as she did. She needed the extra time to gather herself and figure out just what she was going to say. Miranda giving her the cold shoulder the past week was putting it lightly, but everything had been off since Tori had planned that date night.

“Hey.” She smiled, the mere sight of Miranda making her heart beat a little faster and her cheeks heat enough that she knew the pink would be visible. In some ways, she didn’t care. Let Miranda see that she was still interested in something between them. Let her know how much this was hurting her.

“Hello.” The corner of Miranda’s lips lifted for a moment before dropping away, her eyes following suit. She could barely maintain eye contact.

Okay, so much for the returned iciness not being about her. An ache, raw and burning, throbbed in her chest. She couldn’t possibly have read everything so wrong. That moment she had been allowed inside of Miranda’s walls was real. It had meant something for both of them. Didn’t it?

So much for being a great life coach, she couldn’t even get her own life together. No, Tori couldn’t accept that it had all been a lie, a miscommunication. She stepped forward, ready to tackle this difficult topic. With Harley next to her, she reached out as if to touch Miranda’s arm in the way that had become so commonplace between them.

“Miran—”

“Come on, Rebel.” Miranda held out her hand, and Rebel squeezed Harley in a big bear hug before running and taking the offered hand.