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Ashley

Ashley was in the woods now. Literally.

She’d stormed off, before remembering she had nowhere to go. Her tie to the vampires was burned to the ground. The love of her life and her closest friend had betrayed her and ridiculed her in the most personal way. She was exactly where she was all those years ago when she decided to follow that business card to the Family in Plattsburgh. Because her girlfriend at the time had thought staging her death was an appropriate way to break off a relationship.

So why did this time hurt so much more? She really wasn’t cut out for being a vampire. Not for the first time, Ashleycursed herself for making that decision so long ago. She was such an idiot. She’d tried so hard to measure up to expectations that never fit and continuously stumbled to maintain the bare minimum of a grasp on her life. She was sick and tired of striving for benchmarks that didn’t fit her.

Ashley walked deeper into the woods until there were only trees and underbrush before dropping to the ground and laying in the dirt. Overhead, specks of stars glinted between the branches, no longer dimmed by the town’s light. An owl hooted somewhere farther in the trees, and a single bat fluttered haphazardly through the open branches.

What was she going to do now?

As if to answer her query, a high-pitched hamster cut through the quiet night with his nonsensical singing.

A laugh bubbled up inside her. This was quite possibly the worst song for this moment. Ashley remembered listening to it with her mom when it first came out so many years ago and the two of them laughing and dancing to the silly tune. Her mom had promised it was impossible to be sad while listening to it. So maybe it was the perfect song for this moment. Ashley may be alone, but there was still one person in the world that wanted to talk to her.

“Mom?” Ashley held the phone to her ear, trying to keep her voice from wavering.

“Hey, honey, what’s wrong?”

Of course, her mom saw right through her. “I think I messed up.”

A clink came through, probably her mom setting down her coffee mug. “Tell me everything and start from the beginning.”

So, she did. Well, not everything. But she told her the important stuff. About how her mom’s disregarding comments about Ashley’s sexuality made her feel invalidated and forgotten, about convincing Esther to come home with her and pretendingto be her girlfriend, and about falling for Esther for real in the end. She talked about August and how annoying and fiercely loyal he was, about Uther and his endless compassion and humor, about her roommates—roommates, not vampires, because her mom didn’t need to know that detail—and how she never quite fit in with their long-established group.

Ashley told her mom about the breakup, about hearing her friends saying the worst things about her before giving up a token that was supposed to mean their future together.

“And now I’m alone.” Ashley wiped a sleeve across her face because, if she couldn’t cry on the phone with her mom, who could she cry on the phone with? “And I don’t know where to go or how to move forward from this.”

“Ashley, honey.” Her mom took a minute before answering. “I want to apologize for my part in that. I was just joking, but I see now that my jokes were more harmful than funny. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or make you feel forgotten. I couldn’t forget you, sweetie. I love every last bit of you. You don’t need to prove anything. Tell you what, what if we both met up in Europe somewhere and had a girls’ weekend. My treat.”

Right. Ashley still hadn’t mentioned the not-actually-in-Romania thing. But that seemed less pressing when the sun would come up in only a handful of hours and she still wasn’t any closer to a plan.

“That sounds like fun,” Ashley said. “But I’m trying to figure out what to do next first. I’ve burned all my bridges, so to speak.”

“Oh, honey. This is what you thrive under.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in this situation before, Mom. So, I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“Ashybear. You’re the most organized and focused person I know. I have no idea where you got it either. Lord knows your father is a scatterbrain, and I’m always trying to juggle a million things at once. Just get that notebook of yours and make a plan.”

A list. Of course, a list was the answer. A plan would guide her back on course.

She just needed a place where she could safely start it. “But where will I go? My roommates kicked me out.”

“It sounded to me like just the one did. What if you talked to one of your other roommates? Even if it’s only temporary, I don’t doubt you’ll get back on your feet in no time. There’s no way I would have been okay with you halfway around the world if I didn’t trust your survival skills, honey. You’ll make it through this.”

She’d make it through this. “All right, I’ll come up with a plan. Thanks, Mom.”

“No problem. Call me when you’re all settled again, and we’ll discuss a girls’ weekend.”

“Sure thing, Mom. Oh! What were you calling about before I took over the conversation?”

“Just calling to catch up. It’s good to hear from you, dear.”

They exchanged a few more platitudes because she couldn’t just hang up on her mom, then Ashley started walking. She had a quarter battery on her phone, the clothes on her back, her favorite notepad, and most importantly, a heading.

She pulled out her phone and scrolled to one of the few numbers in her contacts.