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My eyes widen. “What?”
“Steven called me. He and his wife are there. I guess they also know what’s going on.”
“Oh, great,” I mutter. “So I have to deal with all of them judging me?”
“That’s not going to happen on my watch,” my dad states. “I’ll talk to Steven and Elana. You just deal with Sterling, okay honey?”
“Yeah,” I breathe.
We all head for the estate. Anxiety fills me with every breath as we draw closer. Karl’s already waiting as we pull up in front of the house. It looms in front of me like a figure of impending down. Karl steps forward as soon as I step down from the car. He looks down at the baby in my arms with a blank expression.
“Hello, everyone,” he greets politely before facing me. “Ms. Cameron, Mr. Harrington is waiting for you in the back garden.”
“Okay,” I murmur, handing my baby over to Priya.
“Good luck,” she whispers.
I exhale a soft breath, nodding once. One of the staff leads me away from the rest of my family to where Sterling’s waiting for me. He leads me past the garden to a small enclosed area beneath a tall tree. My heart pounds when I catch sight of Sterling. He’s on a bench close to the tree. His face is a hard mask.
I tamp down my nervousness, stepping toward him.
“Hey.”
His eyes narrow. “Don’t ‘hey’ me right now, Emilia.”
“You’re still angry,” I say on a sigh, taking a seat beside him.
He shuts his eyes briefly, running a hand through his hair. It’s a mess right now, like he’s done that lots of times.
“I’m not angry.”
“Could have fooled me,” I mutter. “Do you at least want to hear why I did it?”
He nods. “Yeah, I do.”
“You had a lot on your plate, Sterling. Your ex-wife was sick. You were leaving town—” He opens his mouth to speak but I quickly shake my head. “No, I need to get all of this out. I must have practiced what I was going to say to you in my head at least a thousand times. Just let me speak, please?”
“Go on,” he says lowly.
“I was going to tell you that night at the bar. I had just taken a test and my entire world was reeling. I came to the bar to tell you the truth, but then you told me about Marissa and I just knew it would be too much for you to handle at that moment. I didn’t want a pregnancy where you’d constantly feel guilty about choosing one responsibility over the other. I didn’t want to have to force you to choose. And I knew she needed you. Sean needed you, too.”
“You needed me as well,” Sterling says hoarsely.
“I did. But I also had my family and hella determination that I could do it on my own. I didn’t make a decision to cut you out of your baby’s life because I thought you didn’t deserve to be in it. I made the decision because I knew it was the right thing to do for all of us. When you left, you told me you’d come back. I was waiting for you to do that. And in all honesty, I didn’t want you to come back because I was pregnant or because I had a baby. I wanted you to come back for me.” My voice cracks. “I wanted you to choose me. And you did. I’m so sorry I kept it from you, Sterling.”
He doesn’t speak for a long moment. My heart feels louder in the silence, each beat echoing through me as I wait.
“I wasn’t angry at you yesterday,” he starts. “I think I was more angry at myself. Because I felt like I had failed you. I wasn’t here for you and I was terrified you kept it from me because you didn’t want me in your life or hers.”
“No,” I say quickly. “I swear, I’ve always wanted you in our lives. I debated calling you so many times when you were gone. I just… I wanted to give you time. You have no idea how much you mean to me, Sterling. You’ve taught me so much. You’ve shown me how to care, how to be more in touch with my emotions. I had no idea how much pain I was walking around with in my heart until you helped to start my healing process. I don’t want you to doubt your importance to me for a second.”
He shifts on the bench, facing me, green eyes searing.
“You mean so much to me, too. You have no idea how much,” he says softly, placing his fingers against my cheek. “I’m sorry I left yesterday.”
“I understand,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry I kept this hidden from you.”
“I understand,” he says with a small smile. “It’s just surreal. I have a daughter.”